 | BEFORE YOU GROW:Join |
The problem with groups, whether we’re talking high school sports teams or members at the local country club, is that they tend to be exclusive. Even if they are open to anyone—and many groups appear to be and are not—they still elevate group members into a special category that transcends the rest of the populous.  |
Leave a comment
We thank you for taking the time to join this conversation! Before you post, please be aware that while we welcome dissent and disagreement, you may not post any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic or other material that would violate the law. Please note that TDJE reviews all comments prior to posting and may edit comments for clarity or to keep out questionable or off-topic material. All comments should be relevant to the post and remain respectful of other authors and commenters. Please be aware that we do not allow links to external websites or blogs. Thus, we reserve the right to edit your comment to remove any links or offensive language.
TDJ Enterprises' Comment Policy: TDJ Enterprises (TDJE) encourages you to add a comment to this discussion. You may not post any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic or other material that would violate the law. Please note that TDJE reviews all comments prior to posting and may edit comments for clarity or to keep out questionable or off-topic material. All comments should be relevant to the post and remain respectful of other authors and commenters. By submitting your comment, you hereby give TDJE the right, but not the obligation, to post, air, edit, exhibit, telecast, cablecast, webcast, re-use, publish, reproduce, use, license, print, distribute or otherwise use your comment(s) and accompanying personal identifying information via all forms of media now known or hereafter devised, worldwide, in perpetuity.
I just marvel at Pastor T D Jakes anytime I am oportuned to listen to him. I had him spealk about this book in interview with another popular evangelist. I am sold already, I will buy this book. May the lord continue to increase your annointing. I pray that God will continue to favor you and your family. I beleive that you will pray for me too. Be blessed.
Bishop Jakes,
I know what it’s like to have junk in your trunk.This is definitely a now word.There are so many individuals that are allowing past junk to overload, contaminate,consume and destroy the person God intended them to be,I was one of those.Unloading junk can be difficult,but with God all things are possible.Sometime we need to have a Jacob experience (when he was left alone to receive his change)I have met so many people that need this word. God bless you as you continue to minister to the world and keep those books coming.
Sincerely,
Delores
I totally agree. I’ve learned in my 18 yrs of a desasterous relation ship, that some times it’s better to also stop and take a look at self inventory.
I’m half way throught this book and i’m stuck in it. It is full with wisdom and at the time I was about to consider joining a group i just happened to be reading the chapter ‘Before you join’ talking about groups. So it was right on point and in the end I joined the group! Thanks TDJakes, may God continue to use you.
BISHOP, FISRT I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE TIMES WHEN I CALLED OUT TO GOD AND HE HEARD ME. I KNOW THAT YOU WERE PRAYING ON MY BEHALF AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT MY HEART WILL FOREVER BE GREATFUL FOR.
MY HUSBAND AND I MET IN SEPTEMBER 2004. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT HE WAS AN ACOHOLIC AND AN ABUSIVE MAN WHEN I MET HIM. HE TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN AND I NEVER HAD MET A MAN LIKE HIM BEFORE.
I ON THE OTHER HAND WAS IN A BAD PLACE IN MY LIFE. MY MOTHER, WHOM I HAVE FORGIVEN AND SHE HAS FORGIVEN HERSELF, HAD MADE ME DO THINGS THAT I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. THE CUT AND DRY OF THAT IS THAT SHE HAS BEEN CLEAN OF DRUGS FOR SIX YEARS NOW AND WE GOD ALL THE HONOR AND GLORY.
NOW WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND, WE MOVED IN TOGETHER IN JUST A FEW MONTHS AND BISHOP LET ME TELL YOU THAT JUNK WASN’T EVEN THE BEGINNING. FILTH AND GARBAGE FROM YEARS OF NEGLECT IN THE PHYSICAL SHOULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THE SPIRITIAL. BUT I WAS DETERMINED TO LOVE THIS MAN THE BEST WAY THAT I KNEW HOW.
I BECAME PREGNANT IN JANUARY OF 2005. THE MOMENT THAT I FOUND OUT WAS THE MOST FRIGHTNING AND HAPPY MOMENT OF MY LIFE.
AGAIN I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THE FILTH AND GARBAGE THAT CONSUMMED MY HUSBAND AT THE TIME. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT HE WAS MARRIED WHEN I MET HIM AND FINDING OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT, I WENT INTO THE “I’M NOT GOING TO HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK” MODE EVEN THOUGH I SINNED IN CREATING OUR DAUGHTER.
FEBUARY 14TH 2005, WE FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE EXPECTING, AND MY FAMILY WAS SUPPORTIVE. I BEGAN MAKING PLANS, AND I KNOW THAT THAT IS THE LAST THING THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE AT THAT POINT. TWELVE DAYS LATER WAS MY HUSBANDS BIRTHDAY AND HE WANTED TO GO OUT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I TOLD HIS SOBER MIND THAT IT WAS FINE BUT I DIDN’T FEEL WELL AND THAT IF HE WAS GOING TO BE DRINKING THAT HE NEEDED NOT BOTHER ME OR STAY OUT AND I WOULD SEE HIM WHEN I CAME HOME FROM WORK THE NEXT DAY.
THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN AND SUFFICE TO SSAY THAT WHEN HE CAME HOME FROM DRINKING EVERYTHING EXCEPT WATER, HE TRIED TO KILL ME.
I LEFT THE NEXT DAY AND HAD NO CONTACT WITH MY HUSBAND FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS.
I’D GONE THROUGH A TRANSFORMATION OF MY OWN IN THOSE TWO YEARS NEVER FORGETING THAT MY DAUGHTER HAD ANOTHER PART OF HER IN THE WORLD AND WANTING HER LIFE TO BE BETTER THAN MINE, I CONTACTED HER FATHER AND ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT HE ARRIVED TO WHERE I HAD MOVED TO.
NOW AT THIS POINT I KNEW THE GARBAGE IN HIS LIFE. I KNEW THE SCARS THAT HE CARRIED AND HE KNEW MINE. I KNEW THE FILTH AND THE GARBAGE AND HE KNEW MINE I TOLD HIM THAT HIS DAUGHTER NEEDED HIM AND THAT HE NEEDED TO BE A FATHER TO HER. FEBUARY 14TH 2008, WE MARRIED. NOW SIX OR SO MONTHS LATER, I STILL CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WON’T ASK FOR HELP. HE KNOWS GOD AND IS AFRAID THAT HE IS NOT BEING THE KIND OF MAN THAT GOD HAS ORDAINED HIM TO BE. I’M PRAYING AND WE’RE IN COUPLES COUSELING THROUGH A CHRISTIAN SERVICE. BUT I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE NOT TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE WORTH IT. I SEE IN HIM A BOY CRYING TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED FOR HIM. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND ALTHOUGH THINGS AREN’T PERFECT, I KNOW THAT GOD IS IN THE MIST OF OUR MARRIAGE AND HE WILL SEE US THROUGH.
AMEN.
Prayer request and comments encouraged.
My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We recently separated, but are still legally married. We separated because I found out he has been talking frequently to another woman that works with him. Once I found out, he immediately lied about the woman, but then admitted to speaking with her frequently. I honestly believe they have had initimate relations although he claims they haven’t. I repeatedly asked him to stop communicating with this woman over a six month time period and he chose to continue communicating with her. I informed him I was moving because I wasn’t going to continue to have him disrespect me in that manner or stay with him knowing he is no longer committed to only me. I moved out of our home into an apartment because I couldn’t afford the house with only my income. As a result he had to move too for the same reasons. We have been separated now for 4 months and are currently in counseling but he recently stated he doesn’t want to go back to counseling. We have two children together ages 11 and 13 and he keeps saying he wants his family back. Other than this situation, he has really been a good husband, father and provider. I am a christian and he is not….I have been constantly praying aking the Lord to give me directon and whether I should try to work things out in our marriage or just go my separate way.
MJ,
I think you should talk with him about why he doesn’t want to go anymore. Find out what his expectations were and if he is having his needs met by this counselor. Perhaps he doesn’t want to go back to counseling because he doesn’t have chemistry with the counselor. Maybe another counselor might be more effective. If he doesn’t proceed with counseling you should go alone. You may have decisions to make and at least you will know where you stand inside.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
TD Jakes you did it again!!! Wow these topics are right on the point..Thanks I do believe this book will help me in certain areas if my life. I love Junk in the Trunk and Blame I watch you Sundays on TBN your awesome, the way you deliver the WORD your truly blessed and blessings. God bless you and your family!!!
I will be purchasing this book.
goodmorning i was listen 2 you on the steve harvey morning show and i almost had a wreck driving my son 2 school. i have been dating my now husband for 3 years i thought god had truely blessed me and given me the desires of my heart . we got married in august just last month and already the representative has clock out and the real thing has come in .i still do love him very much but im finding out that he has soooo much junk in his trunk i believe god can do all things. but my first reaction 2 his junk is 2 get an analment. he’s never been stable,he lost his mom 2 cancer, he was abused sexualy as a boy ,he has 5 kids that im just finding out about from 3 different women one of them was just a sex thing the other married his friend and the other was caught in the act with another woman when he came home from work and he has a acohol problem. i have been helping him get his life on track.but i know there are some things only god will be able 2 do .i want 2 get out now. but i feel he’s never has stability or someone 2 take up time with him every one else has left or failed him he still is a good man and has the potential to be greater he has a good soul just needs deliverance and direction.ipray 4 him more than i pray 4 myself.just dont know what 2 do
Annita,
You are already praying and should continue to do so. Now, let’s do some work. Tell him that both of you have some work to do to make this marriage all that it can - and should - be. Ask him if he would attend counseling with you. Maybe he can find a way to open up about his struggles as he sees you open up also. It isn’t always easy for those who have been abused to open up to anyone or trust again. Be patient because real change takes time.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
Why do we women put blinders on (in lust) instead of researching and getting to know someone first. Let’s tell the truth. You knew he drank too much and had other kids before you married him. You knew that he was always unstable. He was YOUR choice for a husband, not God’s. Go to counseling, get your self-esteem back and put on the full armor of God. Pray and let HIM guide you. Be honest with God, he already knows.
It has not cross my mind before such a caption “Junk in the Trunk”. It made to think so deeply that I have decided to pray about it and share it with friends, family members and as a minister, to share it with the congregation. I thank God for Bishop Jakes and for such inspiration. I have to really clear the junk in my own trunk–my life and help others to do same.
I wish this book was around 10 years ago. Now that I have seen the junk in the trunk. How do I get rid of it?
Bishop,
Once again you manage to simplify an otherwise complex topic. I am a single mother, not currently dating and having been celibate for te last decade. I love the Lord and I love the Church. This is a topic that needs to be addressed in the church and the world. From the comments I’ve seen posted, had the thorough groundwork been done prior to the marriage, situations would have been different. I thank God for your boldness in bringing this topic to light. I will certainly do my research prior to bringing anyone into my life.
I was impressed with the section which dealt with the different types of relationships within our team, confidants, constituents, and comrades. As I began to reflect on who was in my inner circle,it became hard to dilineate who was a confidant and constituent and realized that a constituent often can cross the bridge to become a confidant in certain seasons of your life. Yet, it is essential to identify the ones who are there for a lifetime and just for a season. Thanks Bishop Jakes
I am a 39 year old single mother; I started dating a man that is 45 years old. Before I made the decision to get to know him I informed him of several things. First I’m not looking to play games because I’m looking for a commitment and eventually to get married with the possibility of having another child. He agreed so we began to talk on the phone every day for hours at a time. As you have kindly put it he sent his representative! We decided to start dating in August and he informed me that in June he was still dealing with his ex-wife. Now he and his ex-wife had infidelity problems from the beginning, he didn’t get married because he loved her he got married because she wanted to and she cried to get married before he left for the military. Well to make a long story short he slept with her after we got together and decided to date! He doesn’t like to answer question because he claims his past has nothing to do with us. He has never dealt with his past so I think it has come into play with our relationship. Now he says that he regrets that whole night and if he could change it he would. I’m not sure if I truly believe him because it is his ex-wife does things to keep him in her life and he just doesn’t see it. She plays on his sympathy with there daughter and grandchild. He says he wants to be with me for the long haul because he knows that I am a good woman and can make him a better man. I know that he has a LOT OF JUNK IN THE TRUNK! I would like to know what you think so far.
This is my personal thoughts about junk in the trunk! I’m not perfect by far but what Life in general has taught me is to deal with my own confusion before I can deal with somebody’s elses. I look in the mirror at myself before I point the the finger at anyone else. I make it a point to be honest with everyone because that is what I expect. Now I know that might not always happen but I know that is the right thing to do. So many people try to sweep their problems underneath the rug or a solution in the bottom of the bottle, or rolled up in that white paper never realizing that the problem hasn’t been dealt with. Other reasons are is that people don’t know how to communicate with one another. They talk to everybody but the person they are in the relationship with and that leads to misunderstandings. I’m in a relationship where he doesn’t communicate. So I know its hard when one person embrace it and the other shaun away from it. We as a people don’t know how to be happy with ourselves so how can we make someone else happy?
A cost-benefit analysis is always a good way to start before committing. Everyone should read the fine print because one may never know what he or she might be committing to and the end results are not always favorable in certain situations. Again, knowing what it is you want and what specific rules and regulations are involved, what boundaries you have set or should be set along with a plan of action to follow is the better way to accomplish anything because you then have a sense of direction and a action plan of specific steps to follow that outline possibilities of obstacles and ways around it to help you along the way to accomplish what it is your are striving for.
Pastor,Jakes I’m so glad I Join The Potter’s House the infor.that I recieved has unexplained,If I would have had this Infor 20 yrs old . Luv You Bishop And First Lady for being my Coaches.
Too much information for a man. A man likes to hunt and chase. Give him alittle bread and he will sniff out the rest.
I have truely been blessed by this series. And I’m proud to say you have helped me to understand so much concerning relationships. Thank you!
I have read the blogs by Pastor TD Jakes and i would like very much if i could get the book Before You Do. This is because i’m 31 yet still single and saved. I wonder why no one has approached me for marriage and also what it is to be led by God in picking a mate rather than by sight. I’m i too old for marriage or is there hope for me. May be no one is interested because my income is too little. Please prax with me as well as any other help concerning this issue.
I’m not a member of this mega-church but i do catch some series on television. I’m a 23 year old college student who decided to purchase this book knowing it could very well do a great benefit to me and the years to come. This book is MY FAVORITE BOOK IN THE WORLD! and I have even started a bookclub on my campus for this particular book because it’s just vital and unregretful. I tell everyone dont purchase another pair of shoes, house, or technical gadget because the Bishop request something of you BEFORE YOU DO! Thanks Bishop for blessing my life and others for you are truly a Man of Words and GREAT CHARACTER.
I just bought and read thro the book over night and it’s a classic to say the least. I reccommend it to as many people as possible. Felix Obi, Abuja Nigeria
I believe that this book is going to be a real blessing in my life. As I enter into this new year, I fully understand the importance of clearing one’s mind of old thoughts, habits, patterns, and ideas for both the present and the future. My family and friends have been really talking about how this book has helped them meet many challenges and take a clear look in the mirror at what they have been facing instead of running from problems on a daily basis.