 | BEFORE YOU GROW:Leave Junk in Your Trunk |
There are two different kinds of junk—physical and mental/emotional—and both kinds of junk can weigh you down. Like housecleaning to keep our homes free of physical junk, you have to focus on keeping your mental and emotional “house” clean and in order as well. Praying, journaling, meditation and exercise are common ways for you to be sure your emotional issues of the past aren’t seeping into your current relationships. These activities help you remain on top of and aware of your emotions and feelings, and rather than stuffing them inside, help you process issues as they arise.  |
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I have junk in my trunk that I have know idea how to get rid of. I was in a abusive relationship for 9 years and 2 years ago I finally got out,but during this time I had 3 handsome intelligent boys that were my reason for moving on but at the same time I don’t know really how to move on emotionally. I know this person was no good and I shouldn’t regret moving on but a part of me do. Just because I see him with another woman, He has been married to someone else and divorced all in about 3 months. I cant help but wonder what if. He doesn’t do anything for my boys and each relationship he has been in including the marriage they had kids, He do for them I feel. But won’t do anything for his own. He current relationship his girlfriend has 4 kids and is 23. I am pissed off. But I don’t know if it’s because he want do anything for his own,or the fact that he is taking care of someone elses. or both, But his excuse to me is he don’t do anything for them there father is good to them. I can’t let this junk in my trunk go. Any suggestions Please inform me.
I have been in your shoes and the way to get rid of it is to not wonder about what if. What if what? You know the ending. You know how he is and what he’s all about. It took the other lady 3 months to get fed up, while it took you 9 years. What do you mean you think of “what if, why do you think it would be any different? He does for others but not for your sons. Now you’re concerned about the girlfriend 23 with 4 kids??? Don’t fall into the something is better than nothing or try to rationalize that the 9 years may not have been that bad. Is that what you think you deserve? Are you and your boys worth settling for? Deal with your issues that you have within yourself and let him and the past go. Focus on your 3 intelligent boys who is watching your every move. Don’t bash their dad but if you do it right, they’ll learn not to grow up to be like their dad. Give them a reason to grow up and to respect women. Yes, the nights may be lonely, but with prayer, reading, meditation and tapes/church tv you can transform you’re thinking on higher things. There’s a dvd called Soul Mates (Christian women who are celebate). Don’t let this looser divert your attention. While healing from the relationship, focus on healing you. Once you discover yourself, you’ll be able to focus and to draw the man of you dreams to you. I’m divorced and have 2 sons at home (8 & 10). My 8 yr. old has a different father (didn’t want to commit after 9 years, had to decide to let it go). I refuse to settle and in the meantime I can’t just expose my boys to men that may not have my or their best interest around just for the sake of having a man. You don’t need advice, you just need time… bury the dead end relationship.
Keisha-
I am young (20) I don’t know much, but I feel that with time comes healing. To help time go at your pace (not faster) get some hobbies, meet new people, take one class at a college, or plan a trip for yourself. I could imagine this will be hard, due to you and this “guy” having children. I know you won’t have him completely out of your life- but you can make sure that you are more sercure with your own life and hold your head up high (miss. independent). Yet, don’t fool yourself- the government is here to assist you (child support). Don’t be affraid. Good luck.
Keisha…Hey girl! things will get better.You have to keep going before God with this. You have to cry out to God and say help help help help!!!! Tell God he has to lead you through this. Ask God to teach you what you need to know. Ask God for His healing, and wisdom in your situation. You have to cry out to God ask him to see you through this. Look to God and he will move in you and your situation. I know he will. Work on focusing on God and only on God. God is way BIGGER than any problem you have. Trust me. Work on building a relationship with the LORD. Focus on your boys and GOD. Ask God to teach you how to love yourself. My situation is somewhat similar to yours. Beleive me when I say God will see you through. Read your Bible; pray and meditate on GODS word, if you do have a church home and or if you have not accepted JESUS as your Personal Saviour you need to do so now. If you do not have a church home ask God to lead you to one. God is able to provide for every need you and your boy’s have. He will give you everything you need. If you need favor he will give it to you; If you need money he will give you that too, and let me tell you sometimes God’s favor is better than money. Money ain’t eveything (I intentionally said “ain’t”) Believe me when I say GOD IS THERE FOR YOU. He is a loving, gracious and merciful God. Never will he leave you and never will he forsake you. So say with confidence Keisha… that if God is for you who can be against you, but He (God) who did spare his own Son (Jesus Christ) but gave him up FOR YOU, HOW WILL HE NOT GRACIOUSLY GIVE YOU ALL ALL ALL ALL THINGS. Look up the word gracious and see what it means. Keisha I am telling you what I experience with God everyday. Look to him Keisha. You are able to survive this, and walk victoriously through it! and come out BETTER for it. God has greater in store for you…GO GET IT KEISHA…much love and understanding Dawnette…
Thank God that you wont be aboused anymore. you are free from his abuse. take time to praise God for your new found freemdom. direct your attention on your boys. focus on what you want to do with the rest of your life. Celebrate your new life. You owe it to yourself to start focusing on yourself and to be happy right now . god brought you this far so reach out to him and grab some happiness peace of mind and joy and spread it to your sons.what do uyou like to do ?
Keisha,
Be thankful and feel bless because you and your boys are fine. I have sought of a similar situation just that I did not have children for my ex-husband. This was my first time being married but after 10 years I could not take anymore. I’m not divorce yet your case this is a plus. I’m separated for almost 3 years and is being watched and followed by my ex. Your case you are free. These are just some examples that you have an opportunity to move on with your life because your ex have moved on with his. If the marriage did not work then it would not work now evidently he proved that after you and him was divorced. Grab hold of the future put God first in your life and ask him to strengthen you where you are weak because you have to be strong for yourself and and your boys to see you strong. God have a way of working in our lives but we just have to trust and have faith no matter what life throw at us. It will work out for the better but God have to be a part of it.
Keisha I’m saying to you God know how you feel he knows that your boys needs don’t worry about “What if” and what your ex is doing or not doing. Keep your eyes focus on the Lord keep trusting in him and have faith in him you will see a difference in your life.
Keisha,
Always remember that you are precious and that you cant change the past. Get rid of that emotional junk or you will regret why you wasted your years worrying about a man of that nature. I know it hurts just seeing him with other women and him not giving your children enough time. I encourage you to get a hold of yourself, look in that mirror and remind yourself that you are very precious in God’s sight. Work hard for those children and give them the best you can. One day, you are going to meet someone who will see your worth and will also be willing to be a father to those children. I encourage you to read more of Joyce Meyer’s books e.g beauty for ashes. May God strenghten you.
Hey girl,
I know how you feel. I’ve been there and I’m still here in my situation. I root for you girl, and commend you on your courage to stand for yourself and your kids by leaving. If its not working move on. I understand its easier said then done. I congratulate you, because many of us including me, find it so hard to do. Ive with a man since I was 14. Im 22 have no kisa with him. live with him and he has 2 kids that live with us that are not mine. So go figure that math. You are beautiful and strong and so what if he[’s with another woman , let him beat abuse someone else. God loves you, and you do wahts in the best interest of yourself and children. As for me I’m trying to move on and your story inspires me to do just that.
Thankyou and God bless you
DEE
Hi Keisha my name is Latika. I have read your junk in your trunk. I have been through some of the things that you talked about and my situation is somewhat comparable,so i feel that i can give you some advice. From my perspective i can see that you still love this man but you have to love yourself first make sure your happy in all that you do. When i left my children’s father i still loved him but i wasn’t happy with him because of the things that he did to me and i know i didn’t have to settle for less. You have to take care of you and yours because if you don’t who will don’t sit around and wait on any one as long as you do your best God sees that and he will help you through as long as you have faith in your heart thats all you need and he will do the rest.
Don’t worry about your ex God sees all good and bad so let go and let God he can handle situations better than any man on this earth. Just do you and God will see you thru.
Hello miss lady.. I was kindof in a relationship like that and What i really think about that is if you have been taking care of your childern this long with out him you can take care of them more years with out him. As long as you have God on your side and a good suport group to keep you off of what your dont doing and what you are doing right your going to be ok.He know’s that you still care and I belive that’s why he’s doing it. I’m a Single mother with twin boys that are 2 years old and I’m 21 and my boys father is 27 going on 28. So keep your head up and your mind stayed on Jesus.
Move on with your life and don’t ever look back. Who care what he does or does not do for any other woman. Love yourself and know that you are the change you need. Go to court and get court ordered child support and move on with your life…
I’m with you a 100%, more pastor’s need to talk more to single male and female’s. Not just married couple’s! My junk in the trunk now move to the front seats. Can I talk to someone in your mission!!!!
I will say that most of my “junk” all started with not having my father in my life. Year after year, I tried to find a guy that would replace the void of not having my dad around; however as you can imagine, it never worked. It wasn’t until recently that I decided to move all the junk out of my front seat and into the trunk that I received total healing and resoration of the situation. God is a MIRICLE worker. Blessings are ready and waiting to manifest in our lives, we just have to be ready and willing to receive them. As soon as I went to God poured my heart out, cried, prayed and asked for healing and freedom of my situation, all of my “junk” and built up hostility and aggression toward my father was removed and I was set free from the bondage that satin knew -if he could only keep me in would continue to hinder any and all relationships I ever was in because I was in it for the wrong reasons (searching for validation from man rather than comfort and validation from God) But who the Son sets free is free indeed. I realized at the momement of my deliverance that God had sooo much more in store for me that I could ever plan for myself…So I thank God for removing my junk!!!!
Dear Pastor
I feel that i have made a misstake.I was married to my former wife for 15years before she died,then one day as i was driving my bus because i use to drive transit bus.She came runnuing up on the bus and gave me her number,well time went on and someway i married this other lady i met
now at this time my wife was only dead a little better then 6 months.Now pastor i can take it any longer,she blems me for everything and i cant do anything.Its my fault.I can,t even talk to her,what should i do
Yours Truly
Larry Singleton
Larry,
Many people hate open confrontation. Often, when we engage with someone who is argumentative we shrink into a shell. However, silence doesn’t always mean consent. We sulk inside really frustrated but trying to keep the peace. You say you can’t talk to her. You are a grown man Larry. You have to talk to her. Do not allow her reaction to control your ability to communicate. Without honesty there can be no peace!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
Leave Junk In Your Trunk…What Bishop Jakes wrote was such an eye-opener for me. I have been journaling for the past 15 years, actually even as a child I kept a diary (I forgot about that). At any rate I used to journal every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. However these past 3 years I have not been journaling much at all. Maybe, at the most I would journal two or three times a month. Interesting, is that these past 3 three years is when I have found my self to be the most emotionally unstable. Also in these past three years I have been going through two personal situations in my life that have left me expereincing feelings of hurt, pain, and rejection. Because of what Bishop Jakes wrote on this subject, I will be sure to return to journaling everyday, and pouring myself into detail into the pages open before me. Don’t get me wrong, I had life-issues going on in my life even when I journaled everyday. But as I reflected back after reading what Bishop Jakes said, I certainly see that journaling made a difference…Thanks Bishop Jakes.
Keisha, I understand your frustration, it’s very difficult to get over an abusive relationship and even more difficult when you feel that the abuser has gotten away with hurting you and has moved on. But we have to stay focused & remember that God takes care of each of us, and all though it may seem that someone has gotten away with hurting us, they haven’t. Please don’t let this stop you from living, loving & enjoying life. The greatest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness, true forgiveness will put you in a state where it doesn’t matter to you what your ex-husband does or doesn’t do. Once you have forgiven him and let it go, God will give you peace. I’m speaking from experience, I am recently divorced from my second husband, and although I never dreamt that I would be in this position I am. My first husband is the father of my children who are now all adults, but he has no relationship with them and he blames them. He only paid support because it was court ordered. He is now remarried and he and his new wife live a very comfortable life. His treatment of his new wife is much better than what I received, but I’m fine with that and I had to encourage our daughter to not be angry with her father when she observed his interactions with his current wife. My second husband, whom I thought was a gift from heaven initially, showed me what it felt like to be verbally abused, ridiculed and neglected. My feelings and concerns were placed behind those of his first wife, who is the mother of his to young children. My participation in his children’s lives was limited to what was comfortable for his first wife. I could not talk to him about my concerns without him getting angry. We got his children every other day and on any extra days when his 1st wife wanted to travel. I’ve said all this to let you know, I understand how you feel. God is healing me and blessing my life is so many wonderful ways, but I know if I held on to what has happened in my past I would never move forward. Sometimes we can hinder our own blessings, by not cleansing ourselves of negativity and opening up to what God has for us. It doesn’t matter how many relationships your ex-husband has, and how much he does for their children, focus on being the woman that God wants you to be. Courtney has a good point, you can turn your request over to the courts and allow them to pursue support for your children. You have one life, focus on living the best life you can and let the past stay in the past.
There’sno way you can move forward if you’re always looking back in the past. That goes along with forgiving & accepting your responsibility in the situation. Stop holding on you’re just missing out on your blessing.
I have some junk in my trunk and believe me I am praying to burn it so that I can move on with my life and so it will not interfere with my present and future. I hope to one day be married and make some one happy but reading this website has made me realize that I deserve happiness to. I say to myself and I am going to say it aloud LORD please guide me and help me to remove my JUNK in the TRUNK ALL of it.
Keisha, as I have read your story, I can feel and understand your pain. All I can tell you is from my own experience. YOU HAVE TO TRUST GOD. Yes you have been abused, broken and battered and out of all of that you had 3 boys that will be men, concentrate on them Keisha. If you allow yourself to harbor the bitterness, because he is refusing to take care of his family, you let GOD handle him…my mother used to tell me.. baby, you have favor, you just trust GOD, and he will make your enimies your footstool…. First accept the fact that you have no control over what he does, for u or for those boys. (a soft answer always turns away wrath) As long as he knows that it bothers you.. then he will continue to not be responsible for his children.. and if he does not want to be financially responsible then you chanel that energy in a legal court system that will make him.. But YOU remain before God. It’s not easy Keisha believe me. If you have to pray every time you hear his name, do it.. if you have to cry out of frustration to move past it..do it.. let not your heart be troubled… you have to not look at in the natural,because everything in the natural is subject to change…I had a messy divorce with my ex– right down to the going to my pastor and putting all our business out there.. to trying to strip me of everything he could including my kids, as he told me he would not do for them..but did for everyone elses…but the one thing he could not get was me.. 8 years later.. count 8 he stills tell lies to my children and to the people around him.. still not getting rise out of me.. I made a choice that when I was done.. I WAS DONE.. I been broke, carless, houseless, and struggled to take care of my girls… BUT I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT GOING BACK. I would simply say to GOD…help me as I praise you…He still gets mad because I refuse to give place.. I am at a point in my life that all that matters are me and my kids.. If I did not give my bitterness to GOD.. I would have never finished school, got a better paying job, bought my new house or even be planning my wedding.. So kiesha I say this to you..Let go and let go.. its gonna hurt, but believe me weep only for a night, but JOY comes in the morning.. GOD BLESS…
I have junk in my truck that continues to be a torn in my side, instead of waiting on God I want to press the issue and just have someone. I realize the importance of preparing (having a house, car, good credit, financially stable etc.). I am learning that it is also just as important to be mental and emotionally stable, understanding who you are in Christ and not being fully depend on a person to fulfill your every need but going to Jesus to meet your needs, because the fact of the matter is that not one person can give you all you need, they are not God and you can’t rely on them like they are a God. You always have to allow God to be the first in your life that is the call of been chosen by God.
Bishop,
I had junk in my trunk for a very long time and God has deliver me over and over again I am a witness, but he did such a wonderful thing for me he not only helped me to reconize my own but my mothers, sisters, family and I some real praying to do and it’s not going to be easy. I was told my life can be in danger. I wrote you about my husband who I was married for 10 years and slept with another women. I now have to stay with my mother and lord only knows the issue I face with her. I ask that he continue to give me strenth and foresite to stay in the clear of all the enimies around me and make them my footstool. I am the lords leading lady right now. I am so enjoying the book. I will keep in touch tell your angles I love them all keep praying for me we going to make it because my GOD says so.
My situation is I met a guy over the internet around Jan 2008. We were in a off and on again relationship partly because of me. He starts talking to another lady on line and it was supposedly just “ministry talking” while we were back together. He told me that the lady know all about me which turn out to be a lie. Around the time he was starting up his ministry and his “friend” want to come down and hear him preach his first sermon only knowing him for 2 months over the internet, talking on the phone and texting. That didn’t sit well with me and I decided to end the relationship once and for all the week before she arrive. Because, I am not about to look like Boobie the Fool. Has we’re going to end the relationship I get shock of a LIFE. I’m pregnant and I just can’t walk away from this dude. I felt has if maybe this was a sign from God for me to stay so I decide to stick around..but at this time dude has move on to a relationship with the Cali girl 2 days after we are official broken up. Time progress I allow myself to get in a competion for him this went on for about 4 months. He went on a fast for 40 days to see what God answer would be in choosing us. I decided to just bow out because the whole situation was nothing but a big confusion and mess. God doesn’t like confusion and is not the author of confusion. Well she got him and is getting married to him. Only knowing the guy 7 months and only spending 1 week with him face to face and only a month before they say I do. With all that transpire between the three of us. She wants to have a relationship with me. I try to tell myself she just has innocent in the situation has I am. Because he made me out to her as one of the girls that was showing interest in him and at the time I was being introduced to everybody else has his Woman and His Future. My real question is knowing all that we are nearing the baby arrivial. He feels that while the baby can’t come out the house that him and his wife should be able to come to my house and see the baby and spend time with him and bond. I’m not feeling wifey coming due to everything that has transpire… due to the fact that wifey can’t come he just want come see the baby at all. I need some Christian advice
Bishop,
Not sure if this is junk or not. My finance and myself disagree over having pictures up of our kids parents in our home. I have allowed my son to have pictures of his mom in his room. My finance has a picture of her and his father up in her living room.
Let me give you some more detail, we are engaged and not living together. This situation arose out of a discussion we had. My thoughts is in our new house after we get married the picture should be placed in his room. We are going to pre-marital counseling and have not addressed for some time. Today she brings it up as junk in my trunk after reading the book.
All I am asking is, Should we have pictures in our home of our sons parents?
Please advise.
Blessings
I am 25 years old and I have been married for 6 years now. I got married right after giving birth to my six year old and to be honest it felt like the greatest thing I could ever done. Well four years into the marriage, we had several conflicts that lead into me and my husband separation. It was so bad that we both wanted a divorce. Well I started to paperwork and to be quite honest, I never had the means to complete the transaction. Since my separation with him which was about 2 yrs ago now… I met another man and I have been seeing him for about 1.5 yrs. He is a great guy, extremely good to my daughter and me. I pray night and day that he would be the man God chose for me. Rush fully, I allowed him to moved in with me and my daughter because at that point I was 300% sure I was completely over my husband and he was over me. My husband started dating a new person and they moved in together which gave me the extra motive to know that the relationship between he and I was over for sure. My husband has been trying to get back with me for almost a year now. At first I thought it was a phase but after he’s being so persistent, I started to believe well maybe its true love. Maybe it’s meant for me to have my family back after all. I started thinking maybe I wasn’t able to financially afford my divorce as a sign that we only needed space and not a divorce. Well after a long struggle of deciding and prayers I made a decision to make things work with him, wait… only one problem. I still have the other guy in my life. I really care about him and I truly hate the fact that he got caught up all in this mix, but I just can’t find a way to let break it off with him. I have explained my feelings to him about my ex but he just seems to always find a way to distract and redirect what I’m saying. I’m starting to get confuse… Am I not supposed to end my relationship with my current mate? Is it God’s will for me to go back? I’m really scared to make a decision because what I really want is to be back with my husband but just not sure if that’s God’s will. I just want to be strong about the decision that I make and hopefully you can shed some light.
i have been so fustrated by my conditions in life,i lost my both parents at a tender age but after reading this book i think i can achieve my dreams.i also had so many junk to get ride of,i got into some painful relationship in search of happiness,thank God i am now free.pls pastor i will need more encouragement to stand.
Bishop,I am in love with a man who wants to have children. after my 2nd child I am unable to have kids.I told him I am willing to help him adopt a kid and lets raise it together.We are both 46 yrs old. We both have been divorced for 3 yrs. He has been involve with other girls I know for a fact because I have seen them.Should I move on, I feel he is enjoying the game of seeing other girls (I say girls because they are over 18 but under 25.)But i do love him. This realionship has taken a lot out of me…I feel I am losing my self-respect.And at this age I should me happy.. Please advise.
I know that I have a lot of past emotional scars and experiences that I do not want to block my future so, I couldn’t agree more that one cannot move forward with past reminders from bad situations you first have to accept what was and with the faith of a mustard seed you must find forgiveness in your heart for you, which is not always easy to do and cast your cares to God and allow him to do just what he said the battle is not ours its his so that you can live a life of fullness to enjoy and reap the benefits in life designed for your life. I hope and pray that each and everyday as I live and face the challenges of my life I am able to maintain my faith so that I live a life of joy, peace and harmony.
Hello Bishop Jakes
I have been in the church all my life and know how good God is. However, I got married and then my husband ask for a divorce while I was carrying his baby. I was seven months pregant I thought I would die. First of all I am a lot better and I can write and not have anger in this letter. I was so so hurt I cried and cried even when I brought the baby home fromt he hospital i cried even though I should have been rejoicing because the baby was a miracle. I almost lost him because I could not handle stress however. I cannot focus on how I found the strength of God. I always knew of him however i never knew him untill know. I began to read your book and words BEGAN to break through my hatred spirit I had of this man. I did not focus on him remarying again and having another baby the same age. I began to say Thank You Lord for saving me. Also right before I started reading your book I began to purge myself. I began to open on myheart and open myself up before God. I began to seek hi like never before. What is it Lord that you would want from me? But the bottome line is, I am 90 percent better and I wanted to let youk now how encourageing it is and was. This story is private. You don’t have to post it unless you feel it will help set other women free.
I can truly say that I have junk in my trunk and I don’t know how to get rid of it. The man that I thought was the love of my life parted ways in July of this yr. I miss him so much and I still love him. It is so hard to let go and cut him out of my life. Every night Im crying because I miss him terribly. How do I let go and let God? I fear that I will be alone the rest of my life…..
Hello Bishop Jakes,
I have read this book from cover to cover. Have passed on some of the advice to family and friends and have loaned a copy of the book to a friend of mine. Emotional junk can be very devasting. Once we have made some bad decisions sometimes it’s hard to get out of them and the emotional baggage that we carry just goes with us all the time. We try to read the word, meditate on it, and pray often to keep our minds at peace but that gets difficult as well. I am finding out that “time” and “prayer” are two fundamental ingredients in overcoming emotional turmoil in life. I can sympathize with many of my sisters in this discussion. I only wish I had the advise in this book earlier (I probably had it but not in this particular forum). I know going through hurt and pain is just one of the ways we grow and develop as a christian. I am ever hopeful that the God of all peace will continue to comfort our hearts and minds through Jesus Christ His Son and will continue to give you insight into the many issues that we as christians face in this life. We are overcomers!!!!
I am looking forward to leaving my junk in 2008. I feel it falling off as I write this…
It is a good thing to clean up junk, but most important is to prevent you get junk. Especially from love relationships.Some tips:
1. Decide to have only one love relationship in your life at that is with the man who you are going to mary. That mean no multiple love relationships.
Multiple love relationships are often associated with a lot of negativity
2.Seek God help in this.
3. Do a background research of the potential candidate before you fall in love.
This method is use by employers.
4. Use your common sense.
When this site first launched I was beginning to enter into a committed relationship with someone and at the time, you couldn’t convince me that we were not on the right path…the same path and that all was well with me. We both agreed that marriage is what we ultimately wanted and what we ultimately wanted with each other.
Then all of a sudden, something triggered all of my insecurities and over the past month, we have had run in after run in. Alot of the times, it may just be a matter of me needing some clarification about things, but instead I begin accusing. He has told me for a while now that my insecurities keep getting in the way. Or better yet…my junk in my trunk. I see a lot of growth areas in him before I would say ‘I Do’, but my junk is pretty much overshadowing everything. I realize that I need to let it go. I want to let it go. I pray to let it go b/c I know that in order for this relationship or any other relationship to work, I have to let go of my past and be fully present, be open and be honest. I have already been through one marriage that obviously ended up in divorce, but that relationship took so much out of me b/c I tried to be understanding, I tried to be loving, I was never insecure, but guess what? I found out that the man I was married to was not the man I married…I found out that I knew nothing about him and that most of what he told me were lies, including being ready to be married to me. That hurt b/c I tried to be a Christian wife and mother, then I turned the guns on myself and began to self-sabbotage. I am so afraid of being duped again, that anything my current boyfriend does that doesn’t add up in my mind, sends me right back to me not wanting to be played or lied to ever again. I try to stop myself and consider the fact that I need to communicate with him and be patient, but that’s usually after the fact. I really want to work on this relationship b/c I know that despite my issues and his issues, we really are solid. I also know that there are times we just have to move on b/c it’s not God’s design for us to be in certain relationships. I can deal with it if God says not, but I pray. He prays. We hit a wall, I pray some more. And he’s right back in front of me. I know that this man loves me. I just need to know how I can do this relationship open and honestly and stop letting my past seep into my future. I love him and he truly has been the vessel that God has used to show me myself.
I am obviously seeking encouragement myself, hence my comments on my relationship, however, one thing I have learned since going through my marital mess and a divorce, is that first and foremost, it’s about God and not about us. Yes. A concept very easy to consider, very difficult to live by. You know God’s word and you know God judges us based on His word. He also forgives us and delivers us from our own mistakes. When ever you are in doubt about something, you must look at how you are living and if it is according to the will of God. There is usually clarity there. You must be honest with yourself and God before even trying to remotely convince a human to accept your position.
Be blessed.