 | BEFORE YOU GROW:Take the 1st Step |
Sometimes we have to make a small decision such as choosing a new hair style or whether to paint the bedroom sky blue or periwinkle. Other times decisions are larger, such as whether or not to move to a new city for a better job, or keep your old one. We each have our own style and ways to approach the decision making process. Some of us tend to know exactly what we want. We make up our minds quickly and act immediately. Others prefer to deliberate for a long time, weighing all the angles and options before deciding what to do.  |
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For me, i recently just made a decision to move to a new city for a better job prospect. It is not easy for me, as I have to weigh from different angles the impact of my decision. The living costs of the city i stayed in is very high and the pay is considered low compared to the other city’s. I have to admit that the hardest part is to leave your friends and people you hold dear in your heart.
I just came to Holland back, because God gave me a word and I obeyed. It is like when Abraham and Sarah were allready settled at Haran, God told him to depart and He will show him where he will bring him. He did not asked God how or why, but He obeyed and walked in faith. I believe that when God is the One that sends u, then He will give u also the provision, so u do not have to fear or doubt nor be dismayed. God bless
I must say that I have found myself in a similar position..God spoke into my spirit just about 2 years giving me a mandate to go back home to my village to help with the church work. It was a clear, distinct voice and I immediately said ‘yes Lord’. I’ am now in preparation for going back to my home land of Trinidad. My husband and I are preparing for this move by doing evangelism courses and other Bible courses so that we can be adequately prepared for the mission. Its been 22yrs since I left my country and it will be strange for me and my husband (who is not from Trinidad) but we have left all the fine details for God to work out. Although, at the moment we don’t know where we will live or what school our kids will go too, we are excited about the prospect of going into the harvest fields to make a difference in the kingdom of God.
About a year ago, I made the decision to move to another city. I was always taught that any life-changing decision must be bathed in prayer, so even though I did my research of the city’s demographics, cost of living, places to see and all of that, I asked God to guide me and if He didn’t want me there, to show me and give me the peace I needed to remain where I was. Well, seven months after I asked God for direction, He released me to move and what was so wonderful, He provided every thing I needed. I love God because as the psalmist declared in Ps. 20:6: “Now know I that the LORD saveth His anointed: he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of His right hand.” We must depend on God for His wisdom in all things, and we must take the time to research the very thing we desire. The next big decision I face is getting remarried, and again God is truly in the pilot’s seat! Praise Him!!!
Peace & Blessings to all
It’s good to obey God and follow His instructions. But what did you do while waiting? Did you question the process and when did you know the timing was right? I feel God has instructed me to do something but I am waiting and it has been 3 months during the wait. I question even my waiting and quite honestly, I am wondering if I am still waiting, trusting, or simply giving up. I know I sound confused but I don’t want to step out on my will but God’s will. I just need clarification on the waiting process. Thanks
I have a different view of your situation. In browsing the other posts, I see plenty of regrets from cases of “doing what we want”. With all of the work that it took to get your masters degree, I’m sure you “wanted” that position. But maybe…just maybe, it wasn’t the right move or the right time. That particular position may lack the exposure that’s needed to take you to your next level.
I’m 27 and I’ve spent 5 of the past 7 years working for my local city government. I spent 3 1/2 working in a department where my career was moving up the ladder more quickly than I could handle (I didn’t know that at the time). A family emergency caused me to move out of the state for two years. When I returned, the city still had a position open for me. But although my position was the same, the department I was assigned to was not. I’d been picked up by the library and wouldn’t be surprised if the people in my neighboring states said they’d heard me complaining. Oh yes, I made a fuss. All I could think about is how short that ladder had suddenly become. I was so stuck on doing things “my” way and according to “my” plans. And after a year of working in the library I can truly say “my” thinking was “my” biggest mistake.
During my first month, a woman walked in and turned in a book. I glanced at the cover, turned it over, gave it a second and third look. And she said “If you don’t read anything else in here, read that book”. I was only vaguely familiar with the author, but the title “Repositioning Yourself: Living Life Without Limits”….what?…oh that was right on time. I made some decisions after reading that one, and I’ve watched everything from my finances, personal relationships, education…I’m so happy right now I can’t even end that sentence. My faith is at an all-time high. Everything has changed for the better. If anyone tells you they’ve never heard of the book, you can believe they surely must not know me because I’m on it. And I’m happy to say that my friends….even the ones who don’t read…(correction: didn’t read before), are asking me about “Before You Do”.
…..and I thought working at the library was gonna be a setback. All that bitterness for nothing. Sometimes things aren’t nearly as bad as they seem
I, too, am facing the same decision at this time. I don’t think it’s coincidence that God brought me to this powerful information today. I am preparing to move cross country, with my four children, to seek a better future for us all. I’m leaving my home state, where I have spent most of my life. I’m leaving all my immediate family too. I have been supported, as a single mother, by my family a lot over the years. So this decision is…. well it’s terrifying! I feel compelled, however, in my spirit, to make this change at this time. Someone accused me of “running away”, but I am more convinced that I’m seeking a better opportunity. I’ll have better job possibilities there, the school my kids will go to is better: smaller classrooms with more comprehensive and challenging curriculum. I want to own a home eventually and the housing market there is more affordable considering my earning potential. My friend there, who we will stay with initially, said that anyone who applies for scholarship funds at the local community college gets one. I want to finish my education. So, I am sure that we will have a better future there.
This is not the first major decision I have weathered this year. A year ago I ended an abusive marriage. My divorce was final in March and I am thankful. No regrets! I have begun again to dream and make active decisions and plans to accomplish my goals. My marriage kept me in a serious emotional rut for years, and I know I made the right decision to end it. I am thankful for my faith and the amazing grace which has covered my life. I know that HIS love and providence will continue to keep us, through Christ Jesus!
May God Bless you all and help you through the tough decisions you may face.
You know there will always be someone or someting in our way. I have expereinced also people sayin that I may be running away from something, but when I use my God faith intuition, I feel as though He’s got me running to something. I too relocated across the country from NJ to TX to find better livin for me and my family. Altough I still feel like this is not our final resting place, God has otherwise planned for me and my children. I’m a single parent as well and these decisions can be tough and anxiety can consume your thoughts when you think your making good choices, but I’ve found that only a close spirit to the Lord can move you in the directions you need to go. GOD Bless you on your journies and I wish the best in your endeavors, keep the faith and leat the Lord guide you in all your moves, and thoughts….
In making your decision, you must first look at what is best for you. You must weigh all your options & ask GOD for guidance in doing so. Once that decision is made & action taken there’s no turning back time. We must accept whatever comes before us for the next stage of our life.
as long as you can see that there are mony advanatges moving to the place you have chosen, it’s a good decision. as a child of God, we should make sound decisions and sometimes we need to use our 5 senses or ask for a clear guidance. as long as you are confident about your new decision and you also know that there is a future in it and better things, it should be good. God richly bless you. this is only my opinion. have a wonderful time and know that God is always with you. he only wants the best 4 u. as a child of God, you should outshine the unbelievers. see your future, prepare for it, walk in it and take care of it. thanks for allowing me to share.
I understand 100%! I moved from my home town on the west coast to Chicago back in 99. I moved back home in 2002. The move, while it was difficult on multiple levels, drew me closer to God and myself. Sometimes you need the seperation to go to the next level in every area of your life.
Hi my name is Niketa Barden i moved to Virginia to find a better job but it seem like i can’t find one it’s so hard and i know what you are going through
I can only imagine how hard the decision has been for you to make. I applaude you for being strong enough to make the best choice for yourself. Prayer is ALWAYS a powerefull tool.
I believed I was taking first steps to help my children heal from our family bounding.It was not the step god ordered.It is not working.I have rededicated my self to god and I am new born.Right now none of this can ease this on going pain our family experiences.Last sunday(9-7-08) Bishop preached the sermon that matched what I had been feeling.Me the head of my family so lost in the desert(40 yrs) of confusion,but did not even know that.I just ask god to heal my children and me.Heal us so that my grandchildren and great grands can prosphere from a godly healing in each one of us.Bless Bishop and Lady Jakes being in your church is a unique & godly intervention.I thank god for the experience and I pray it will grow me up in god amen.
The ability to hear God and boast in His love….. Faith without works is died…. pray and reading the word (Bible) will confirm the next order by the Lord
it’s wonderful to hear you share what is in your heart today. i feel you have tried to solve the pain of what has happened in your family spiritually e.g by praying, trying to be very commited to God and reading the word of God.what of the practical side? i feel you are a precious daughter of God and you need to understand that God is waiting upon you to take the right steps, make a decision to leave the past, get other things going on in your life, be more active, phone others to ven check them, live in praise. change the atmosphere by doing something nice and new for yourself. as you incoporate something new for your life for each day, things will chnage. God wants you to have joy to the fullness darling. Never give up, you are most loved and very special. If you try but still things remain the same, God will heal you. thanks you, its only an opinion. enjoy your day and have a great time.
Great e-learning tool for singles.
This excersie was like fresh air and a deep breathe. I’ve busied myself so much I have forgotten to take the time to listen to my own thoughts. And yes, talk to myself and respond. Through refecting and discerning I have a better grasp of my priorities. Even greater than that, I’ve placed them in their proper order. I’m excited to continue on this journey and rejoice with the others I’ll meet along the way….Let’s go!!
I am a department manager for three units at my local hospital. In order to take my career to the next level I returned to school and completed my masters degree. A higher position recently became opened and my Director approached me about considering applying for the position. I was honored that she would approach me. Before I applied for the job I sought out the vice president for her input regarding whether or not I would even be considered for the job. I was very disappointed with the vice presidents statements. I am paraphrasing however she essentially said to me “Oh no, I need you where you are”. She did not tell me areas that I could improve on or anything. I left this discussion very disappointed and hurt. I did not apply for the positon and the candidate who got the position (the only one encouraged to apply)does not have the minimal required education for the position. Hindsight being 20/20, I recognized I allowed someone to dictate my future. I am hurt almost bordering on being bitter. What are you recommendations for me?
I would suggest that you not be bitter or resentful and just take this a lesson learned. Don’t beat yourself up so much. We should always pray first before we make any decision, you just never know what the enemy is trying to do. We all know that the enemy works by whatever and whomever he can. I recently walked away from a wonderful paying job that I like very much( not loved) but the lord had been telling me to leave for the past few years. After countless promotions and raises and disobedience to God , I stayed. This job was mentally exhausting, I could not keep up with my work in Grad school because it demanded all of my time. I realized that I was giving so much to this job that I wasn’t listening to my body. I was ill on every level, so I turned in my resignation letter and sure enough the supervisor refused to take it the first time. Needless to say the devil had worked up a wonderful plan that would give me not even half of what the Lord had promised me. I too was told ” I need you I can’t let you quit and even offered suggestions” So, I thought about it for a couple of days and gave my resignation letter to my supervisor whether he accepted it or not I was out of there.
Get approval from God and not man, they will make you want to strangle them everytime.
Hope that made you laugh. : ) I know how you must feel.
Pray for bitterness not to sit in. You’ve learned the lesson in the situation and move on. God will open a bigger and better door for you and your education will have prepared you for the next level. You’ve worked too hard to let bitterness come upon you.
Thanks in a million for sharing your heart cry. you ae most welcome. every human being has a dream that they want to accomplish and we need to understand that people or situations can be an hinderance to this. the things that the enemy uses to hinder us or stand against us does not come up in a form that we will recognize easily. i can assume that this lady’s comment at the point whereby you needed to make a decision that you feel would benefit your life in the future, said a word that prevented you from taking that one step to the next desired level. what has happened has already happened but i want you to know that all things works together for the good of those that love God - the word of God. the word of god is very pratcical and it tells us good stuff about our lives e.g prosperity, newness favor. babe, this is real good, God is not a sad God or someone that we should represent in a little way that causes unbelievers not to belive in our God. the main point is that when you know, see or understand that something is good, just take the step. even if you go wrong, the word of God is able to bring you to the right point. as long as you still wnat soemthing better and willing to act to get it done, God will help you. you will win and neve rlose. you are the head and not the tail. be your best at work nd still give God the praise. joy can never be compared with money. some have it but they are sad. i specially thank God for your life. He cares for you. bye and thank you.
Sister Patricia, What did your Father say? but aside from the spiritual insight you must know that your friendship and loyalty to folk will set you back and almost cause you to become stagnant. You mean to tell me you spent all that money and exspended all that time and energy to hang your piece of paper on your wall to turn around and ask somebody that you obviously love and respect who obviously does not love you a life changing decision concerning your life and future. Replaying the comment that she said to you now I’m bout to end this comment because I know full well you have something deep inside you with better sense than you do the question is “will you let the greater speak, and guide you”?
i’m in the middle of an important decision and yes i take my time to deliberate but my face reaction after excitement is prayer. Answers all!
I had to share my emotional problems with friends, only for me to understand latter that they are kill joy. I took my time to watch events, and found out that my solution was based in God’s word, i found it and sorted myself out immediately.
I’ve recently made a decision to cut my hair. I recently made a decision to press on in life whether or not I get the support and help from loved ones and friends. I recently made a decision that in the face of adversity on my workplace I would not compromise my salvation for the sake of any promotion but I would rather trust in the Lord for His divine will to take place in my life. For me all these were hard decisions but I took some time to analyse each outcome and who and what my decision would affect and then made my decisions. I’ve learnt that in all instances you wouldn’t please everybody. But you know what, I choose to please God first and ultimately I pleased myself. Decision-making I’ve learnt only get hard when we don’t consult with the One (Jesus Christ) who knows our tomorrow.
i recently moved to a new house and i am regretting the move because i have realized its not the house i wanted.i made a very fast decision bcoz i never sat down and analyze the options i had.
I understand. My husband and I bought our home 3 yrs ago. Ever since then we have had one financial problem after another. The most pressing problem is that we are always getting payday loans. When one is paid off we have to take another to replace the last one. Listen, I know the market is crazy right now. But when you can, get out!! Don’t stay anywhere that God’s grace isn’t present.
I recently came out of a 4 year relationship with someone I love very much and I thought he loved me; but come to find out that he was in love with a man. You know that God will show you things either in a dream or just in plan reality. It’s up to the individual to take seek it. It will mess with your emotions, your health and mind. But I thank God for giving me the strength to make the right decision. The decisions that you make in life does affect you mentally, emotionally and physically. I have experience all three.
Marie,
If you are hurting, and I am sure you are, from this disappointment know that God cares for you and that He will heal you as only He can do. My prayer is that you will not allow what has happened to you to make you bitter. Give God a chance to heal your heart and move on with your life. You only want to be involved with someone who loves you!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I have a question, my husband told me he does not love me anymore and that he want a divorce, I am not at peace with his decision becuase i know its not a God aproved decision, he says he knows that God is against devorce but he want to be happy, its like 2 months ago he said that but he did not leave i decide not to touch the topic but pray and i have peace with it. what do you think i need to do while i am waiting. Do you think its unnatural for me to think that God can restore my marriage?
I just made a decision today to leave a relationship that I was in for 6 1/2 years, we have a child together and live together. God told me not to move in and told me to leave a while ago. But I wanted to do it my way and I think that I brought way too much damage to all of us because I loved this person so much and wanted it to work. I know everything happens for a reason and that there is a rainbow on the other side. But true understanding will come in God’s timing. This is a step towards a new beginning for all of us, I’m steppping into my purpose in life. I just thank God that I learned at an early age and thank God for not giving up on me when I was not listening. Please pray for me because this is a decision I didn’t want to make but I know it had to be made. John 13:7
Yes, it’s never hard to leave a relationship especially if it’s not blatantly a bad relationship. I recently made up my mind to marry a young lady I was seeing for a while and discovered the day before I was going to propose that she had a one night stand with someone she just met while on vacation. Even though it’s pretty obvious to most men that you should just move on, my problem is that I still love her and she treats me well. I’m confused on whether I move on or do I trust God to work it out. She didn’t confess it to me but I found out through other means. What do you do in that type of situation? Can God assign a wife to you that would do something like that? Was that my past coming back to haunt me? I don’t know what to believe. I hope this book brings answers to my situation as this is what I am seeking.
I understand. Currently I am in a relationship that has been going on for 12 years. The past 7 years has been a struggle (our child is 7). The child is not the cause of the problem but, expectations change when a child is involved. I expected him to grow up and become responsible overnight. The relationship has been mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive at times but, the physical abuse stopped more than two years ago. Unfortunately, we love each other but, I understand that love may not be enough. Because of the sacrifices I made and the time that I put into this relationship and Love, I am not sure if I should let go (now that he feels it is time to change-and I have noticed change for the past few months) or stay around and see if it works out. I pray all the time for counseling from God. Because of all that we have been through, I find it hard to trust that these changes are permanent or that his actions will reflect his words. So, in the meantime I have decided to stop worrying about it and the future of our relationship. I have put it in God’s hands. His will, will be done. My main concern is working on rebuilding what has been torn down inside of me during the course of this relationship. Restoring my peace and my soul. Seeking inspiration in the word has become my stronghold. We can all make it through; we just need to turn it over to God and BELIEVE that he will fix it!! I know that my situation could be worse. I know that my struggles are not exclusive but, shared by others. I am not the first to go through it and others have made it out unharmed and without permanent damage but, renewed spirits. Sometimes, I find myself retreating back into my depression closet and then I fall on my knees and pray. I pray hard, I cry out to the Lord, I let him know that I know it is He who supplies all of my needs and not a man, a job, family, or friends. If you do nothing else make Him your best friend, your counselor, your momma and daddy. If I listed every terrible thing that I have been through in life and within this relationship it would serve no purpose. I just want what we all want and that is to walk in peace in spite of, to love in spite of, to give in spite of and heal. Loving the Lord is loving yourself. Bless all that read this, all in process of positive change, and all who need an encouraging word.
If I may offer a word of encouragement and suggestion:
Re-examine what love really is all about in Christ and pay close attention to what is written as you ask the Lord to explain His view on what love entails. Use it as your measuring stick and thermometer. Also, don’t allow fear of being alone, what others may think (including your child),or what you have already rationalized to cloud or refute what God may have already told you time and time again. Don’t settle - it will make you angry with yourself, your child’s father, and if you aren’t careful even with God Himself. Be honest with God -and don’t sugar coat your honesty. He already knows what we are often afraid to utter for fear of not being Christ-like enough. True deliverance, repentance, and liberty in Him begins with staying REAL with your Heavenly Daddy. If you are afraid or questioning - tell Daddy. Read Bishop’s Jakes’s book “Why?” it’ll help - it has helped me similarly. God Bless you.
I used to live in Michigan and I now live in North Carolina. I was scouting to see if N.C. was for me and I was employed at the time. At Church I song this song by Juanita Bynum it was called ” I don’t Mind Waiting On the Lord.” I imagine I song the song with my heart because it seemed like every sunday we sang that song. One night I received a call stating I was going to fired very soon. I started to panic. But I remembered that song. And I started to sing it. I prayed as though the Lord was right there on the edge of the bed with me. Instead of panic he replaced it with relief and reminded me all that I really didn’t like about that job . He replaced my fear with Joy, a joy of starting a new life and possibilites that awaited me. The day before i was fired. (i had know previous knowledge) i woke up for work but drifted back off to sleep. I dreamed i was being fired. I woke up under a gloom spirit despited the joy i previously felt. all the way to work the Holy Spirit placed in my spirit today was the day and he would be with me. I packed my things about lunch time. People kept wondering what I was packing for. I told them. At 2:00pm I was dismissed along with 5 others some cried, some were mad. All I could think about was when I could start my new life. I now live in NC have a full-time job and have started a business. I LOVE U LORD!!! because he gave me the VICTORY in the midst of what was distress for some. As worshippers we need to believe. what we say. And put it into action.!!!!
Trying to make the right decisions is the hardest part, sometimes there are other contributing factors that can cloud your judgement. I put my trust in a so called friend of three years only to find out I was being misled throught the friendship. So now I feel that I must relocate to re-start my life with new beginings. Yes, it’s hard not being able to trust people at this point.
My decision for me and my family was a better job in another state. I had been going through a lot of things in my life. My job was closing its doors and moving to another state. I was 5 mos pregnant and me and my husband were going through a lot, my marriage was over. The opportunity came for me to transfer for more money to another state and I discussed with my husband and we thought that this would be the right thing for us to do with a home, new car and his job cutback on hours we would lose everything if I lost my job (materials). God was telling me to humble myself and I did not listen. I took things into my own hands (wrong thing to do) and moved with my husband, 13 year old and pregnant. Well needless to stay I am back in my hometown. Me and my husband separated, me and my two kids were living with my sister for a while and now we have our own home. I am trying to make a long story short. Listen to what God is telling you and don’t take things into your own hands. It will never work. I still lost (materials) I had to start all over and this has brought me even closer to GOD. My husband and I are going to counseling within our church and he himself has come closer to GOD. We are working on it and believe me he will bring you through.
every now and again i have these moments where i just want to relocate. feeling like being here my life is just in a neutral position. asking God for peace of mind always works but im a point where i think i need to start embracing opportunities and maybe seeking some change. The move would definitely be to learn and further develop as a person, also to continue focusing on my degree. parts of me feels like maybe im just trying to run from my stress so im not sure if moving is a wise idea. sometimes i really feel like i need to get away from everything.
all advice is welcome : )
Monique,
In all fairness, any advice given with such limited information is bound to be faulty. I can tell you that changing locations doesn’t work if the restlessness is coming from within. God bless you as you discern His will for your life.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I must make a decision right now because my mortgage is behind 3 months. I have an overdue car note and other bills that must be paid like utilities. I also have 2 pay day loans. I don’t know what to pay first. The issue is if I pay any other bill I won’t have enough to pay the mortgage. What do I do? I’m praying, but I need guidance. Help!
Sherry,
It is difficult to give good advice with this limited amount of information. I would want to know several things: Do you make enough to keep the house? If you have an adjustable rate mortgage (ARM), do you realize that the cost could escalate so high that you won’t be able to afford the payments any longer. In that case it might be wise to cut your losses, downsize and stabilize your life.
I CAN tell you that payday loans are demonic! The fees generally associated with such loans are designed to keep people enslaved to the lenders. Ultimately, it sounds like your life is financially out of control. The good news is that you have a job. You may be have to downsize for the sake of your sanity and stability, and you may have to do that in phases. As long as you have income you have a lot more options than many people who have lost theirs.
Don’t be afraid to make the changes to get control of your life. You would be surprised how much better it feels to live in a smaller place that you can afford, instead of a larger one that doesn’t even leave you with lunch money!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
Right now I am going through something also. I lost my job in Feb. 08 I just started working temp for this company but I am not happy working this job. I graduated with a BA last year and to date I still have not found a job making comparable to what I was making on my last job. I am tired and just recently said to my mother I give up on looking for a job cause it has taken so much of my time every day looking for a job only to get rejection letters in the mail, I am tired and discourage but I continue to give God the glory and praise but I honestly dont know where to turn. Friends have given my names I’ve done the networking revamp my resume paid someone to do a other resume still nothing. I was out of work last year for 3 mos as I had to have a major operation and I went in the hole with my bills and it took 3 mos to go in and it will take 3 yrs to come out. I am just tired and really don’t know anymore
To Ms. Carmella with your situation please don’t give up continue to press forward and know that GOD will shift things in your favor. When you go to fill out applications ask GOD to give you favor over these and remember what’s for you will be for you. I know believe me it’s hard but continue to praise GOD through the good and the bad times through every situation and circumstance in your life! A special friend (my supervisor) once told me that “In order to do what you want to do sometimes you do what you got to do”. Always remember that our situation is not as bad as it seems there is always someone out there worse than you (sad to say). Keep in mind right now it may not be the job that you like but it’s what you have for the moment so please make it work for you. Be blessed!!!!
I canoot semed to get on track with what God wants me to do with my life. I make goals and I can’t seem to get the goals done from one year until another. I just seem like I’M at the bottom of the pit with no way out. Everyone around me is going up and I am at a stand still postion. Please help me I’m getting depressed because it seem my prayers are going up but it must not be my time for my blessing.
you said it for yourself you just cant seem to get on track you have to be serious about letting the lord fufill his plan in your life read proverbs 3 and you will have peace
Amanda don’t let the enemy win that depression spirit. Remember it’s on GOD’s time not on ours! I myself have goals that I set and sometimes I feel like I just can’t reach them but I continue to pray and ask GOD for guidance of what direction he wants my life to go. We all get depressed because we see others around us progressing and we feel that we just can’t get ahead but look at it this way. We may not be where we want to be in life (for the moment ) but be glad were not where we used to be. Continue to be steadfast and prayerful because your blessings are surely going to be raining done soon. Remember this excerpt from a song: He may not come when WE want him but he’ll be there right on time, he’s an on time GOD yes he is!!! Be blessed
I recently made a move back to a state that I used to live in for many years. I told myself that I had two reasons to relocate back, one being my son and his family are there and the second being I still had lots of friends in and out of church there. But really I made the move for more selfish reasons and you probably guessed it, it was to be with a man. I knew this person for more than 20 years and we had always been friends, good wholesome friends that could rely on each other. We had been out of touch for a few years and reconnected over the phone and took our relationship to another level. All along God was telling me to slow down and get me in order before I made a move and I did not listen. I knew that I needed to straighten out some things in the place that I was leaving but I got carried away with phone conversations and I rushed in unprepared for a new start and as you probably guessed by now the new start did not work out. The thing is that God never stopped telling me to wait, slow down, do this the right way and it will work. I just ignored what I knew to be God speaking and it cost me. When God speaks, we must listen always. Thank you for this opportunity to read what others have to say and to express what on our minds. God bless
One thing I have learned: Forgiveness is not for those who have hurt us. It is for us to be healed and free from the perpetrator of the hurt. As long as you feel bitterness in your spirit: whether it be towards this person or yourself, you hinder your spiritual health and happiness. You also remain spiritually bound to the person who hurt you. If you can’t forgive today, pray and ask God to make you ready to forgive. I know He will meet you where you are.
God Bless.
I have been thinking about moving to another state for quite some time now. Everything here in regards to losing my place to live, to some loss of income and also getting sick and having to be hospialtized has come at me all at once. Everything here is at a stand still and I am so very tired of the struggling that I have been doing for so long now. I not sure of the right move, rather or not to step out and go (move) to another state or not. My ex-husband wants me to move back to Las Vegas so that he can help me, but I do not. I just recently find out that I’m about to be a grandmother for the first time and that is a worry itself because my daughter is not ready for motherhood and with us all staying with family, (and there are issues with that) I want and need to be in my own space again, funds (money) is very limited and credit is straight bad. I am in a dilemma and seems to be sinking further into it. I go could go into further details abiut everything but the time is limited and ao is the space. Please, any and all advice would be considered. Please pary for and with me for an amswer. Thank you!!! God Bless!!!
Marva,
First of all, you seem to know what you want and need. You said you needed your own space but that may not be a goal you can reach right now because of credit, finances, or whatever. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a good goal. I suggest you go about reaching the long term goal in phases. If you do it in phases - perhaps getting your income back the way it needs to be and then straightening out your credit so you can have optimum options and then getting into your own space - whichever priority you make first, remember that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. Just because you can’t find an elevator (to get there quickly) doesn’t mean you can’t take the steps!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
Wow, Bishop, you actually answered me back!!! Getting my credit straight is soemthing that I am so “dumb” in. I really don’t know where to start or even how too. I am so afraind of hearing “no” (in alot of areas) that I seem to think that things will disappear, I know better, though. I appriecate your advice and please continue to keep me lifted in prayer. thank you and mahy God continue to bless you and yours.
Marva
Entyway. I went out and bought your book yesterday and after reading the introduction and about 3 pages of the first chapter I must say, YOU HAD ME AT HELLO.
That section on how you make your decisions was very interesting to and opened my eyes to the idea of ‘gathering information’. Communicating and asking questions about things that may seem completely insignificant but could/would cause big problems in a marriage. My decsion making process would drive someone crazy because I tend to overanalyze at times. I think that might be a good piece of info to give to someone who’s interested in me so he’ll know what to expect when we go shopping. I’m not an in and out shopper. But then when it comes to larger decisions I tend to make them much quicker. You would think that I would overanalyze over the bigger issues.
Whenever God sends someone into my life I will be interested to know what his decision making process is like and to share mine. It’s these kinds of seemingly small issues that understanding them can make a marriage sweeter or not understanding them can be a straw to break the camel’s back. Very interesting.
For me I know that God said that we must forgive those who have hurt us.But there are some things in my life that I’ve been trying to let go of for years. And the out come from it has been me going back to using drugs again. Because the pain is so unbearable that I’ve just gotten to a time in my life that I have to finally allow God to handle this for me because there is no way that I will allow the devil to take me out like that any more.
April,
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the perpetrator. It enables you to move on and it expresses your freedom from the past. As long as you retain the anger, your past has become connected to your future. Simply let it go. How do you do that? You do it by reminding yourself that nothing in your past is strong enough to abort your future. Many people who have been through what you have still succeed (no matter what it is that happened to you). If they did, you can too. Let’s put that energy into something productive like moving ahead!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I agree with jim about relocating to establish ground for a better future for my son and my grandchildren. It is difficult to convey to older children that situations are stagnant around them and they must find alternate ways to stimulate activity that is positive for them and relocating is one option.
I have wanted for so long to open my own eatery.. But just being scare and while working with a good salary I never stepped out. But I lost my job in Nov 07 after 10 years no warning or nothing. I took pitty on myself for 6 months. Now I going to step out and begin a catering business. This feels right and I am really into this. I have some reservations of money and all the legal licensing and stuff. I want to do it right but I dont want to fall. Please pray for me..
I really am trying to concentrate on what God wants me to do. As a young minister in the UHC of America, it’s either what the Bishop says or naught. I have always been one who doesn’t say anything, I have been at my church all my life, I left for about three months because we werent having any services because my pastor was pre-occupied. And everytime I tried to make a decision to join this particular church that I was worshiping at and most importantly being fed… My heart was back at my church. Not for any other reason than my concern for the well being of the saints, the members, and if and when the newcomers. I have never be guilty of sedition, but sometimes I want to just stand and scream and say that’s not what the word says…. I guess my decision making process is limited because I want to know that I know that I know that Im listening to God and not self. When I do preach I stand on the unadulterated word, not tearing people down and not sitting and purposly studying something to contridict pastor. But I seek ‘God and the word comes through strong. Am I looking past what God has for me to do. Or am I making my own decisions by not making a decision.
Tish,
I am often amazed at the church folks who sincerely want to change the direction of the church from the pews. It is almost impossible to do so. It is equivalent to changing the route of a bus from the back seat! Personally, I prefer to be at peace with leadership even if it means leaving rather than to risk being at odds with them. God will judge the leader if he is wrong. But sometimes your presence gives consent even if you are secretly fuming inside. Someone will say that it must be okay cause he/she is still there. Now, none of us agree with everything that goes on in any church but if the liabilities outweigh the assets a decision is needed.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I was offered a position at my place of employment as the interim supervisor. I really enjoy my job. I help low income families on a daily basis. My issue is I’m have formed personal relationships with a few of my co-workers. I know their families personally. Now my role will change because I will be their supervisor. One in particular coworker, I’ve witnessed stealing time very often. So I have to figure out how to talk to this person about professionalism and and accountability. I was asked by my supervisor to apply for the position on a permanent basis, but I don’t think this is what I want to do on a permanent basis. I’m praying about it because I don’t want this to end up being something I truly regret. Please give some suggestions!
Tracey,
First of all, if it is not what you want to do on a permanent basis than just don’t do it. If your friend is doing something that is dishonest you need to share with them that you love them and you appreciate them but you want to be honest their behaviormakes you feel uncomfortable and you don’t want to be in a compromising situation. Ask your friend to stop engaging in it, or at the very least don’t do it around you as you are conflicted by this behavior. Reassure them that otherwise you enjoy their company and want to be their friend but that their behavior is a problem to you. Remember, honesty is always the best policy. You don’t always have to betray them to “check” them!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I’ve been in a relationship for almost 5 years and engaged for almost 3 years. It has been rocky mountains and hills since the beginning. I purchased this book in hopes of working on things in my relationship with my fiancee but I think that God is taking me in a different direction. This will be my second marriage after being married almost 9 years and I think that reading this book is leading me to the direction of fixing me first before I try to fix something with someone else. Maybe my first step has nothing to do with me and him and involve me removing me and my children from this for a happier and healthy life.
Many times when making a decision fear comes in; what if I’m missing something or what if I heard God wrong and it was myself speaking to myself or what if I heard God right and no one else agrees. That is the hard part for me knowing when to step out on the water and knowing when to stay in the boat( peter said God is that is you tell me to come and God said come), but what do you do when you are not sure. Would God ever allow you to miss a blessing, because you want to be certain? There are just something’s I know I’m not completely prepared for (marriage), because I require a lot out of myself. Do you give up on some dreams to receive the desires in your heart?
Demetrius, God did not give us the spirit of fear. Use the times you feel fearful to step out on faith. You don’t have to question whether or not God is speaking, because deep down we already know. We question whether God is speaking because we’re actually fightind with ourselves. God is saying one thins and we’re saying, “I don’t know about that. That wasn’t quite the answer I was looking for.” I have learned that God can be so blatantly obvious that there is no question that it is God speaking. I have to laugh sometimes and say, “Okay, God. I hear you…I get it.”
Well, Demetrius you are certainly not alone in the experience you are having. I totally believe that I heard from God about a man that I do love, but he does not seem to get it!! I especially recall God telling me that I will marry this man, and that he would be over me! I have given the man hints that I am really interested, but he act as though he has cold feet in the matter! Yet when I try to recalculate and say to myself “maybe it is my desire talking and not God speaking to me” the Lord just keeps on reaffirming that this is His will for me! I keep hearing the scripture that tells me He won’t give me a stone for bread or a scorpion for an egg, or a serpant for a fish. He knows how to give good gifts to his children! He does not play games and trick us into thinking He will do something for us and then let us down! Yes, sometime we can miss what God is really saying, but we have right to ask our Father what He does mean! He said if a man lack wisdom let him ask God who gives it to us liberally and upbraideth not!” I have decided to not let this time get the best of me, and just put it in His hands! Sometimes faith has to come to TRUST! Believe Him and wait on Him, and in the meantime just praise Him!
I thank God for Men like Mr.Jakes making sure that we are taught to be men and woman who make sound decision. Understanding that are choices not only effects us, but those that are around us from our home to our churches.
Demetrius,
Stand still until His will is clear.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
All in all I feel stuck in and within myself to the point where I feel like a fly in a spider’s web moving all of its limbs and body parts trying to get out and get away from what is keeping it from truly living. This has nothing to do with my marriage but affects every part of it at the same time. I think that maybe my biggest problem. I just don’t know where to start to position myself to get free. I realize that when it comes to problems in my marriage a lot of it is me and I feel so bad because at least on my end of it my marriage should not be in shambles but it is because of my decisions. Breaking the stronghold to act on the decisions instead of just saying them is where i struggle.
To answer Sylvia’s question as to what I did while I was waiting to hear from God as to move to another city or not, I simply continued in what I was doing at that time, and that was living, working and serving in my local church with joy, knowing that God was going to answer. You really have to trust God that He has your very best interest in mind. He said in Jer. 29:11: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” God knows what is best for our lives, its our job to trust Him and prepare for whatever answer He gives us. Just contine to do what you are doing with joy, knowing that God is give you an answer that will work for your good. Peace & Blessings.
I have been enduring severe back pain, looking for sympathy, understanding and I’m not really sure. However, I prayed about the relief and my anwswer came to me thru a recommendation that my primary physician had told months ago. I kept avoiding this answer, but when I kept asking I kept receiving he same response. God answers, but sometimes we don’t listen for his answer. We listen for what we want to hear, or in my case for what I wanted to feel. The Pain Clinic I went to helped me tremendously. God did give the physicians the knowlege.
This book is a must-read!!!! The most powerful statement in chapter one to me is on page one which states that the “decisions that we make not only affects you, but other people around you”. The outcome of our decisions could be good or bad. Our decisions could help or hinder and sometimes even destroy if we do not follow the process as Bishop Jakes outlines in the book to a)reflect. b)discern. and lastly c) decide.
The thing that hit home the most for me in the book was in the 1st chapter when TDJ discusses bringing a child into this world. At first, I really felt bad and selfish, because I was only thinking of myself and no one else involved. I’m a single parent and I truly love my child, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. This is a great book for teens and other young women to read, because there is so much more to parenthood than just giving birth.
I have started reading the book and it has been a blessing because I got divorced after being married for 27 years, gave up home and other things for my happiness and the blame game came, I had no regrets and that was a good thing, because the decision should have been made years ago. I’m on my way back up. I felt like God was not there and now realize he was there all the time.
Sherry,
Trust God in your situation and believe that the answer is there, I can feel your pain, I went through a divorce and had to give up my home because the mortage was an ARM and kept going up, the Lord blessed me to be able to work with the mortage company and do a short sale so that I wouldn’t go into foreclosure and saved my credit.I had to make a decision of what was best for all concerned and in the end it hasn’t been as bad as I thought. God has been truly good.
Decisons! Decisions! Choices! Choices! This is a part of life and it determines the quality of life. Do this mean we have always made the right choices/decisons. I don’t think so. Bishop Jakes talks about research. This really hit home for me because i ask questions all the time. sometimes people are reluctant to answer and when this occur or i notice it’s a sensitive question. it’s a red flag for me to know there is more to this than what’s presented. i conclude chapter one with this thought in mind, “To not make a decision is to have already made a decision.”
Our life changing decision was hard.. even frought with some difficulties to get there. Praise God, we made it! We are now in our new home over 1600 miles from what was our home. And I am SO happy that we made this decision and for what my future holds. It’s hard to describe the feeling of calm one can have … peace passing all understanding.. but I felt so much peace in my spirit with this move. I walked away from an apt full of furniture and household goods and, frankly, junk! I feel so free now!
I would say, if you are facing a big change, like stepping out of the boat, Keep your eyes on HIM and take His hand. YOU can make it when ALL your trust in put in the Lord to provide for you.
Blessings,
R
I am in the process to read the book, i am first finishing the one i am reading now so i can begin with Before you do, i am reading confident woman and i did already purchase before you do, i am now in the time of my life that i read to o get knowledge from the words of god, I hope that by reading i will be more align with Gods purpose in life for me.
I recently moved to a new city, I had been asking God’s guidance to guide me to where I belonged because where I was I felt like I was walking in someone else’s life or shall I say life was running out quickly, I could not get a grip on anything, I visited the city first and all doors began to open for me and I knew God was there, but things quickly began to fall apart, not fall apart, but they did not go as planned, I am now standing still, everything around me is working out and I am limited in making things happen so I rest in God’s will for my life, I feel unprepared for what is coming, to much is given much is expected and I am bursting to start giving whatever I need to give, I am trying to say that EVERYTHING that I prayed for has come to pass I don’t expect faith without deeds will be rewarded so I am seeking God face but the impatience is starting to get the best of me because I am a doer not just a taker, please pray for me to stay on course and to keep my faith strong and to bless others with the works that God has in store for me! God bless you ALL! HE IS FAITHFUL!
I have been married for 8 years & things have been bad for a long time. we were divided in every area and the more i tried to talk the more he said he didn’t see a problem. there was mental & emotional abuse, my skin was breaking out and i would get pains in my stomach when he came home. i had spent much time praying and often saw visions of me leaving but didn’t understand. one night i heard in my sleep “u have dwelt there long enough” i couldn’t take it anymore the kids were confused by our arrangments and yet he still didn’t see a problem. i know how God feels about divorce so i kept praying wanting to please God, but he kept hurting me. after telling me he was going to drag me out the house i finally made the decision to leave but only after much prayer. my kids and i have been gone for 10 months and i am still praying for God’s direction regarding divorce, nothing has changed between us. i don’t know if God has given me an answer and i didn’t hear it or didn’t want to hear, so I am still waiting until I know what He says is clear. as hard as it is i would rather be clear than make a move without God that way i will have no REGRETS as i have none for leaving. what do you do in the meantime as he will not get help because he still don’t see a problem and we never talk about. he is waiting for us to come back but nothing has changed. i can’t go back to that life of misery but really want to please God. any advice? I contine to pray for the answer.
Kimberly: I was in an abusive marriage too. I prayed for years to get an answer about whether to stay or get divorced. I was really bound up in my ex’s addictions and chaos for years. It caused me illness, depression and turmoil for our children. Realizing that my children were suffering and learning some very dangerous behaviors was the final straw to getting free from the relationship.
I think that many times, Christian women end up trapped in abusive relationships because of the notion that we are “SINNING” if we determine to divorce our abusers. No amount of prayer or wishing can “make” an abuser stop engaging in their behaviors. After doing a LOT of reading on the subject, even years of therapy can not help an abusive man decide to take responsibility for his behavior and make an effort for recovery. I’m not saying I don’t believe in power of prayer, but even Jesus confronted the sick man with a question, “Do you WANT to be well?” Without accepting responsibility for themselves and making themselves willing to become “well”, abusive men will continue to abuse their partners, especially when there are little or no bounderies, or they are used to the “status quo”.
If you have children, you especially owe it to them AND you to get healthy and choose a life free from abuse. They will suffer from your abusive H as long as you allow it. TAKE CONTROL and trust that God does help those who can HELP THEMSELVES. Make the choice for good health.
I did, and I have NO regrets. My ex is still engaging in abusive behavior and now awaiting trial for felony menacing for holding his gf at gunpoint. It could have been me!
BE SAFE, take care and keep the faith.
Much love,
R
R, Thanks for sharing and encouraging. I realize what I need to do and taking steps now to do it, for myself and especially the sake of my kids. I have been attending the same church as my husband and now making changes to end that. Be blessed.
For years I have tried to get over different painful past personal problems, after Iread this book I saw I had the knowledge of what to do but the actions never came to play. I pray that GOD will give me the power beyond normal to move forward. I identify the problems holding me back and seem to just over look the path to take. Also shame stands in the way of who do I trust. Well dealing with the death of my mother last year I was able to admit that the personal poblems I had as a child did cause several for my adult problems. The book made me think hard about what has been holding mr back. As a foster child due to my mothers drug and abuse problems I was shamed of my self, I plan to use the book as a key to open doors.
I just made a decision to sever a relationship. I tend to know what I want in some detail and it usually doesn’t take much time to process and act. On the other hand I had a male friend who seems to take forever to make a decision, but more frusting than this was his inability to communicate what he wanted ( a frienship or more. This has gone on for the past 6 to 7 years. He had a tendency to cross the friendship line but would never committ to anything. He would often make comments that would allude to and insinuate that he wanted more but he would never say it. Once he crossed the line and relalized he had gone to far he would stop communicating until it was safe to come out of his cave. This often left me on an emotional roller coster. So, I asked him not to cross the line unless he was willing to communicate what he wanted and what he meant. And like he normally does, he didn’t even respond. I am not sure if part of it has to do with how he processes information or if he is just thoughtless. So I cut it off.
Gabby,
This sounds so much like a relationship that I currently got out of. We must be aware of the devils deceptions. We have to find out if the person is really into us or are they into the sex or whatever else may be going on in the relationship. Pray and ask God for wisdom. Don’t get caught up in what looks like “gold.”
Discernment is the key. I met an older gentleman 14 + my senior and in just a short time was sporting my little big 2karat engagement ring. I mean he opened the doors, walked on the street side, walked behind me when entering buildings or rooms, dined me, spoiled me and the whole 9. It was comming all so fast I had so till my head WAS spinning. I mean I was blinded by everything. Then one day our Father stopped me dead in my tracks and asked “what do you think you are doing? Have you lost my mind”? I had already told dude, you seem to be to good to be true. This thing is do right till it gots to be all wrong but I just can’t put my finger on it. So I prayed for guidance, yes after the facts, what God revealed and when I stopped and thought about what He spoke to my heart honey I hurried up and gave boyfriend his little, big ring back. We are friends because I don’t want to loose his friendship but look here, our relationship is defiantly cover because this dude has a Judas spirit, and I have discerned that he has the spirit of sabbotage. For real….so now you might ask why am I still around right? Well this is between the forces of evil and My Father. Am I playing with fire, maybe but I gurantee you I am bout to learn a most valuable lesson. Most valuable lesson.
Making a decision whether is positive or negative involves determination, strength and courage but most of all……risk. Many times we are aware of the consequences that our decisions may bring. However we still have CHOICE and we decide whether to make that decision or not. God shows us the way; He shows us the truth and the answer. We have the CHOICE to follow or not. Think before you act. But to those who are lazy waiting for God to move you finger so that everything is done for you…..wake up because if you aren’t walking God ain’t moving. If God has approved….You….make that decision.
I recently had to make a decision to redefine myself to know that I have outgrown my current environment. I have been in my marriage for twelve years for ten of the twelve years I had to be the decision maker and over the last five years of the marriage I am a survivor of two heart attacks. I found myself exhausted and burdened down with so much stress from my marriage, trying to be the peacemaker of the family, living with a husband who never accepted my children of a previous marriage, finances, health, credit Issues, and my job. I had my first heart attack in October 2005 and my second in December of 2007, where my husband showed very little concern for my life. I had to make the decision that I need to differentiate myself with things I cannot change and the things that I need to change which is my life and the unhealthy way I am living. I made the decision that God has kept me here in this life on purpose and he has not only given me one chance at change he has given me two chances and it’s time for me to do his will because God did not put me here to be mistreated and unhappy he want his children to be full of life to be a witness to others about his good favor for our lives. I have a testimony that is meant to be shared among others who may or may not have experienced the same or similar circumstances. I have applied for different living arrangements and I know that God will continue to guide me in my journey to do his will and to be the best I can be in what ever he has planned for my life.
Hi,
I am reading all these posts and i must say i am alarmed that they all jump out at me. I am going through the same thing, at my home church i felt the Lord calling me to do something but out of fear i have deferred and ran away for years and now its back. I have decided to yield and jus hearing everyone speaking out the way they are really hits me, like wow….could it be any more clear. There are other things i have been faced with and i am ‘in waiting’ but not sure what to while i am waiting. As others i dont want to fall out of His will or fall from grace or even jump ahead of him just wait patiently but that in and of itself is so hard.
I am looking forward to reading this book and sharing more with you guys…
God bless you !
hi i said i do to a wonderful lady who has four kid all bye diffrent men one was becuase she was rapped i knew this and bye faith i believed she is held she is 41 now i am 45 her first was born when was 16 the second was when she was 18 that was the rapped and no one believed her the next one was some one i believe she loved at that time the last one was out he rfirst marriage we marriaded when the last one was nine it seems like she will never trust me becuase of what them other men did to her i know that she loves GOD she is a preacher i do here her pain when she speakes to me i keep us in prayer speak to me help me to stand and see the will of GOD in our lives there was a time when she was on drugs and GOD has delivered her out of that but she keep putting up down every chance she gets help me keep my eyes on GOD and how to speak life into her again thought the word of GOD.
I am a 35 yr young woman. I have been saying for the past 2 years that I am leaving my hometown, born and raised. I have traveled arcoss the USA as well as over seas. I am slightly confused as to what to do until I sight. I feel that GOD has sent my to move to Phoenix,AZ where I do not know anyone except my cousin and who knows where he is or may be.I have a few dollars in my pocket and really no where to live. I’m just going. I will stay at a hotel for about a week and only GOD can tell the rest. My husband and 15 yr old son will stay in my hometown until I get something going. I have never ever done this in my life, I just feel that GOD has something in store for me once I get there. one of the main things is that I know that with skills that I have and a Class B CDL with me with no tickets I can get a job or should I say a excellent career.I am what you would call stepping out on Faith and letting HIM guide me all the way to the front door of my new life, home, and career. Thank you td jakse for this wonderful book and good spirit to keep on keeping on.
Bishop,
I have been making difficult decisions ever since I got pregnant at the age of 18. With the encourgement from my parents, I decided to go off to college in another city while they kept my son. Those four years of undergrad and two years of grad school was tough for me but I was dedicated to giving my son and myself a better life. After getting my masters in 2006 I took a job in a city about one hour away from my family. While my son still resides with my parents, the job helped me to gain experience in my field. I’ve been praying about the decision to find another job and move to where my son is. Since college my family has had guardianship of my son and they have done an excellent job providing him with everything he needs and I didn’t want to just take him and move him away from them. For the past eight years I have drive home to spend every weekend with him. We go to church together, enjoy activities, and learn. I love my son and sometimes the enemy tries to make me feel as if me leaving him with my parents was a mistake.
This book as really given a new outook on my life. Being in a wonderfull teaching ministy that worships in the true name of YHWH and YAHSHUA. My aunt has been trying to get me to move to Texas for so long and my uncle has made a offer that anyone would jump at. Since my mom has past this Oct. I find myself thinking about it more often, but I don’t want to leave my ministry. Right now it is tough going through a divorce as well, I can only rely upon YHWH to lead and guide me. This book as made me ask the tough question of myself. I can always transfer with my job to TX being they are a major company in the US. It gets even more difficult when my son wants me to move to TX as well. I ‘m not sure what to do,so I will continue to pray and seeks the heavenly father for direction in this situation. I recommend this book to any and everybody.
Thanks for this topic,take the first step,its really relevant to me and my church. We recently had to relocate to anew church due to space.Im a youth leader and that is why iadviced the pastor to move due to lack of enough space in the former church as God had confirmed what he told Abraham that he will multiply his descendants.Thanks and be blessed.
Hello Bishop Jakes and everyone, I am here today for advice and guidance. I have been married for almost five years. My wife and I have just mutually in hearts said I do recently. For all of our marriage we have have been going in two seperate directions like a tug a war. We just had an eye opening experience which change our relationship. Now with this change steps has to made to move forward. I must admit that feel that i really dont know how to have a relationship after experiencing so many failed ones without success. My question and search for advice is what does a woman want for herself and from her man/husband? I asked m wife but she wants me to figure it out. Where do I start Bishop?
Hi, Bishop T.D. Jakes as a young christian this book has opened my eyes to what I have to face later on the future. Right now to prepare for the future and the man that God will bring in my life soon, I was told to read the Word, pray, and look to God daily and also to ask so that it may be given on to me. I am glad that you wrote this book so that I might get an insight on what life may be like in the future and also the questions I would have to ask. I was wondering on some advice from you? They say waiting is the hardest part and I know that to be true. God bless you and ministry.
Hello Bishop Jakes and fellow readers of this book. I have so many decisions to make that not only effect myself but my 3 daughters also. My husband after 20 years of marriage decided to rape our oldest daughter 17 at the time. I had just landed myself a job making less money with horrible benefits after being at home jobless for a year. Our roles in this marriage was I worked he stayed at home with the kids. He had no high school diploma & minimam wages for him working was the cost of baby sitting, Dr appointments & errands. It was when I went back to work, the little ones were in school and he and my oldest were home alone. After 6 months of living with this my daughter mustarded up the courage to reveal this through the deacon & his wife who were family friends since my husband was a little kid. I am in my final stages of divorce with my ex-huband who is now in prison. I have been told I have to relocate because he will be back to look for us. The rent I’m paying now for a 4 bedroom-2.5 bath with a yard for the kids to play in is 3 times as much now. The amount I’m paying is less for a one bedroom maybe a studio. Before I say I do want to get up and leave, get another job, change the kids school I stand hear wondering what are my first steps to moving on and forward with this. I now have about 3.5 years before he does get out of prison. I ask for guidence in bible references, prayer and support…I never thought this would happen to my family, never seen it coming but I know I am not the only one also…
First of all i would like to thank the living God,for empowering and convenying important messeges through Bishop TD JAKES. Bishop i am in a situation where i do not know whether i am doing the right thing or not:My Girlfriend of three years,started making unreasonable financial demands because we have a baby together.I sat down with her and explained that her behaviour is driving me away from her,her response was that we should consult a witch doctor because we have been bewitched.I told her that as christian my witch doctor is the living God(Spellbreaker)she got frustrated and she broke my TV and appliances in my room. I decided to leave her and after six months we got back together but her behaviour has not improved.I no longer wish to be with her,but again it is difficult for me to get out this intoxic relationship.Our families no longer support our union. Again i am with her for the sake of my lovely daughter,please do not get me wrong i do not want to be God over her Life,but i suppose if i am in her life she might change for the better.
Praise God from whom all blessing flow! I was in the wilderness for a while but I have returned to God and have been blessed ever since. I have a very angry husband that walked out of our marriage back in September. I believe that the devil has control over him and that he will not allow God’s love to come into his spirit. I have no authority to change him -but praise God - He does! I can pray for him along with everyone else that he doesn’t make a regretgul decision to seek a divorce. He gave no reason for leaving - he is just full of anger and turmoil. We both prayed and went through marriage counseling before we married. We prayed that God show us whether it was His will for us to marry and if we did, we both committed to not divorcing. The devil has a way of trying to come between people but I praise God that God doesn’t make mistakes - only people do. What God brought together - let no man put assunder. I have faith that He will see us through this difficult time and that God will work to bring my husband back to me BETTER than before He gave him to me. I ask for your prayers. Praise God. Colleen
Today I had a before you do moment. I was greatly enraged with my mother. She recently bought new a car with the intent of helping us so she says. Well the car I has been here for over a week and every time I ask you for it she tells me no and just gives me some excuses. I’m mad because she used the words us, this is for us, when it is really for her. I can’t took the car under any circumstances. If I need to get my things out the car I can’t even do that she will do it for me. I’m getting really tried of this. I’m twenty years old now and its come to my conclusion that my mother only thinks about herself. I help as much as I possibly can with me going to school and trying to pay bills. I don’t understand why she chooses things and people over me. When I was a little child maybe six or seven, I could always remember her leaving the house at night with my astringed father and not coming back until that morning. He’s not a good man so I couldn’t understand why she would leave me and go with him. And when she left she didn’t call to see if I was ok or anything. I would tell her I’m hungry and when are you coming home. Her respond was go tell your grandfather and I don’t know. I didn’t want my grandfather I wanted her. The times that I really need my mother she wasn’t there and if it wasn’t bad enough my father wasn’t there now her. I feel its to late for this to even be a relationship between us. She is set in her ways and I just want peace and be able to be my own person. She’s not looking at me as a young women but the child she left so often. I’m not asking for a wonderful mother daughter relationship I just want peace and for to understand I’m grow up now. Let go. I just need a prayer.
I can remember as a child knowing and trusting in HIM. In my 20’s and 30’s I was still trusting. My 40’s find me wondering. Where is HIS Will?
Hello Everyone,
I am a young woman who is examining several aspects of my life. I have good male friends growing up and have been very close with them. I am a young adult who has had positive relationships with people in general. I am finding a problem though, at this time in my life I am a recent college graduate who has a job and am adjusting to life pretty well after college. I go to church every Sunday, but I do not have any good male friends who are saved and it bothers me completely. I recognize that it takes time to get to know other people but how long is too long. I am praying for God to intervene and give me some true male Christian friends for life. Many of the young ladies who are my friends at least have young men who will call them up on the phone and see how they are doing what is wrong with me. I don’t even get that attention and I am praying for some changes to hurry up and come into my own life.
Prayera C.
Prayera, girl.
It happens to most of us.
Just hold on to the Lord and believe that the is a good child of God male friend out there for you.Im 29 years old and I dont have a male friend either. you are lucky you have saved girl friends, I dont. The Lord works in his own way and we have to undestand that.
Love Lesego SA
dear pastor, I wrote before and still waiting for a reply.But I would like to add that my husband when having sex,likes to role play and these role plays are way out there. from pretending to be captured and held hostage, or a prostitute, or a young girl when I’m 43yrs old. please tell me what is this about and is it a sin? I feel it is. and should I divorce him?