 | BEFORE YOU RISK:Quit |
Before you quit anything—your job, your marriage, or your life, I encourage you to think about why you want to leave and where you want to go next. If the trapeze artist must relinquish her hold on the swinging bar in order to catch the next bar coming her way, then we must have a clear perspective on what we’re releasing and what we’re moving towards.  |
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I plan on leaving my husband this December 2008. We have been together since 1999 and married since 2004. We are both 28 years old with no children and one dog, Sophia, which is a blessing from God. However, our relationship and marriage I know was not designed by God. I was disobedient to God when I decided to continue my relationship with Eric let alone marry him. I was afraid, weak, and ashamed and felt I needed Eric to protect me from all the abuse and torment I was running from. I loved Eric, but he wasn’t good for me just as I wasn’t good for him. I know God wanted to deal with our brokenness to heal us and deliver us before we said “I Do”. During the past two years, God has brought me through deliverance and healing I could have never imagined when I would go back home and visit my families’ church and spend time with God. I built my relationship with God everyday stemming from the healing and deliverance I received at Victory Barn Church back home. However, during this time of growth in God I have been through so much warfare. I love Eric, but my feelings towards him have been numbed. We get into fights verbally, physically, and emotionally. I know when the enemy is attacking me to take offense and when the enemy wants to cause strife in our marriage. Other times I give into the flesh instead of fighting it in the spirit. We only bring each other down. Whenever something goes wrong Eric says it’s my fault and I am to blame for the way he is and the way he treats me. He says if it weren’t for me he would never be this way. I can’t talk to him because he won’t even take responsibility for the small things. I have tried to make it work and I fear I am in disobedience to God the longer I stay with Eric. Moreover, I want to have that confirmation from God that I am suppose to leave Eric. I pray that God will heal Eric and deliver him. I also pray that Eric will trust in God to allow God to move into his life now. Eric has matured more in God since about 10 years ago, but I sense God wanting me to move on like I should have in the beginning. Above all things I want to be obedient to God. I started my relationship and marriage with Eric in disobedience and I want to end it with obedience to God and make things right. Please help me if any of you are able. I need confirmation from God. I need wisdom and knowledge to know what to do and how to deal with this situation. I want to thank you to all those who can help me.
God Bless You Always,
Sarah Ann
Sarah Ann,
Have you and Eric considered professional marriage counseling? If you both sincerely love each other and mutually wish to salvage the relationship, I recommend counseling before making a decision to leave the marriage. Since physical abuse was not mentioned in your commentary, perhaps you both need a therapist to explore the deeper issues that are causing the heated arguments.
You are in my prayers for guidance and wisdom.
Linda
You have all the information you need to make the right choice, just do it. I pray that you follow that still small voice. The Holy Spirit is a ever present help in the time of need. Reach out and depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit he never fails. I have been where you are now and that was what helped me through my valley.
Sarah Ann, you have wrote my story. I too know that God gave me the sign that the man I married was not the man he had for me. However, I choose other wise. I can count on one hand the times I have been happy with him. I too am looking for confirmation as to divorce or not. I want to be obedient this time. I do not want to be striked for being disobedient to God. I would like to know how thing go for. We have to continue to pray and listen for GOD’s answer and not do what we think needs to be done. I don’t know how to express to you that we have very simular stories. I am so sorry we are going through this. I have to contine to tell myself that “Because I chose him and he did not choose me does not make me any less of a valued woman.”
God’s Will Be Done
13 Years of Marriage and Ready to Quit! I have finally realized that we are Unequally Yoked. I thought our being total opposites would make our relationship interesting. I now know that similarities are more conducive to a healthy relationship than differences are. 13 years and 3 children later, I am ready to walk away from this situation due to arguing, no communication, financial issues, spiritually mismatched souls, and total incompatibility but I need to have confirmation from God that I am doing the right thing for me and my 3 sons. For many years, I have felt that many of our blessings have been blocked due to our relationship not having a firm foundation in Christ. I believe and have shared with my husband that Communication to a relationship is like air is to breathing. Without communication you can’t grow together. I have prayed about this situation and have asked God’s guidance and for him to confirm to me that leaving is what I need to do. Everything in my being tells me I need to/I must leave this man but I am afraid.
I believe I may have received my answer from God regarding leaving but I don’t know how to discern God’s voice from my voice, my desire, my will. I just want to be sure.
It is interesting how on this journey called life and on this Christian walk God can and will position you for the next level but if you are not ready to move to the next level you just end up being stagnant. I have been asking God for at least 9 years if I should leave or stay. Every time my husband lost a job, due to his anger management issues, and one because he failed a drug test, I was certain each time I should leave but I would come up with a reason to stay. We purchased a new house and I was certain I had to stay because I was so sure God had not given us this lovely home for us to divorce. But when the house went into foreclosure and we were forced to rent I almost felt as if God was removing the baggage I was holding on to as my reasons for having to stay. But I still reasoned in my mine why I needed to stay. Here we are now with NO financial ties to property and the way out is straight and plan but I still feel unsure. I need to hear a word from God and an unbiased party to determine if my will is God’s will for my life and my 3 sons.
My husband and I have absolutely nothing in common except our children and we rarely agree on anything. We do not do anything together as a family, ever. I attend church alone or with my children. He never goes. He believes Christians are hypocrites. His ideas of how to raise our boys is so different than mine and I try to honor his way in front of the children but it is hard. Our differences have truly been our downfall in this marriage. God’s word speaks about being unequally yoked and I now realize why being equally yoked is so very important on so many different levels in life.
We can’t talk, there is no communication, the best way for us to keep the peace in our house, not home, is to not talk. We can be somewhat civil if we talk only on the surface but any in depth conversations result in really ugly arguments of which the last argument ended with him in my face yelling and spitting like he was talking to a dude on the street and it took all he had to restrain himself. I looked into his face that Sunday morning as it was contorted and the words and language coming from his mouth I realized right there in that moment that love no longer lives here. We are just merely existing from day to day because neither one of us has the courage to leave. The anger that was displayed on that day was not unlike any I have seen before from him but the difference was the intensity and the realization that something has to change. I was numb for a week because I was unable to totally wrap my brain around the truth. Even though I have believed for years that he would be one of two ways if we weren’t together; a better parent to our children if we weren’t together or a totally absentee father. He can’t be the father to our children he needs to be because I don’t think he knows how but he also looks at what he does for them as doing something for me and he doesn’t want that. He has never created a time for him to be with his children, take them places or do things with them. We have 3 boys and in order for them to get their hair cut I have to almost get into an argument with him for him to do it. I think he dislikes me so much that he can’t love his children.
I am trying to hold back the tears as I read your post because I am 32 years old and have been married to my high school sweetheart for 13 years. We got married 1 year after I graduated from high school and 2 weeks before my military enlistment sent me to Germany for 2 years. Like many here, I knew from the beginning that I was making the wrong decision. But, at 19 years old, an unsaved young lady, and having already taken on the nurturing role in his life, I felt obligated to marry him and take him with me. So I did.
Now, here I am 13 years and 2 kids later, ready to leave. I have been unhappy for most of the marriage, and my being saved for 11 of the 13 years and pending graduation from law school in a year has not made anything easier. We argue all the time, do not have anything in common and most of all have no spritual connection /prayer life as husband and wife or family. He attends church when he feels like it therefore, I am the only spiritual leader in our sons’ lives.
He is a good man, good provider, and father, but he is not willing to have a relationship with God and I’m not sure if the latter will even work for us because the truth of the matter is that I am not in love with this man. I’ve beaten myself up over the fact that I am contemplating leaving what all who knows us thinks is a great marriage. But, then I quickly remind myself that sticking it out for the past 12 years has done nothing but make me and our children even more miserable. When your 5 yr. old child makes comments like “when I get married, I am going to show my wife that I love her”, and “I am so glad daddy will no longer live with us”, and neither party has discussed this with them, then you know that the parent’s situation has had an effect on them. I pray and seek God’s guidance on this everyday, all day long and feel like I too am being disobedient by staying. Although my husband is aware of the fact that my feelings for him is no longer here, he respects that fact that I do everything for him and the children as I should and I have made every attempt to work on our marraige by setting up and attending numerous counseling sessions, and attendeding our church’s married couple’s tranings. Even after all of those efforts to repair enrich our marriage, nothing seems to have had any effect on our situation. I will never be able to meet his needs and do God’s work if he has a problem with my being saved. But I know that God must come first.
First,I just want to say that you are very brave. What ever choice you make just keep God first.You stay in the Word. And all so seek professional help.I will keep you in my prayers Sarah
Sarah Ann!
I believe we all go through this. I felt the same way when I married my husband. When we dated, he gave me the security I thought I needed and I felt obligated to love someone who loved me like he did, since most of the men I dated or fell for, made me feel like I really wasn’t worth much, including being in a committed relationship. I saw things in my husband when we were dating that were definite red flags and before we knew it, we were changing the wedding date b/c of ‘finances’. A spirit of discernment, honesty and truth would have shown otherwise. When I found out I was pregnant, I took that as a ’sign’ that God wanted us to do this the right way, not spiritually mature enough to realize that the pregnancy was just the natural consequence of being disobedient. I’ve always said, and to his face, that my husband changed on 6.29.03, the day after our wedding. Things got really violent, so I made a choice to separate. During our separation, I read a book, Single, Married, Separated, Divorced as well as EVERY passage in the bible regarding marriage and the responsibilities of the husband and the wife. One thing that always stuck out to me and still sticks out to me now is the fact whatever state you are saved in is the state that you remain in. Translation: We all understand being equally yoked. You are saved. He is saved. You are unsaved. He is unsaved, but of course a person who understands ‘the yoke’ is probably saved in the first place. In my marriage, I can definitely say that I sought God’s guidance, wisdom and grace more than any other time in my life, so for conversation sake, I was saved during my marriage, but he didn’t appear to be doing any of the things the bible stated a husband should do with me to make the marriage work. The night before our first court hearing, I was released from my marriage b/c he had left the marriage physically, mentally and emotionally. We had to work on some things, but we’ve been divorced for over a year and maintain a pretty amicable relationship in order to raise our soon to be 5 year old daughter. God does forgive, but I need to ask, how do you know you will be divorced December of 2008? Has he signed dissolution? Also, now that you have a chance to start over, use this time to really get to know who you are before you take the plunge again. God’s grace allows us to be forgiven for mistakes made, including marrying the wrong person, but if we seek spiritual guidance when leaving a marriage, we should act accordingly as a single person. Good luck to you and God’s Love!
Sarah Ann, I too share so many similarities in your story. Throughout my marriage, I have been physically, mentally and emotionally abused. I believe that I was disobedient as well in marrying my husband. I feel that we got married because we had been together for so long and we already had our three children. I believe that we loved each other, but neither one of us really knew what being married was all about. We did not seek God before getting married was our first mistake. I feel that if we had done that we both would realize that we should not have gotten married or atleast gotten spiritual counseling first to understand what the bible says about becoming one. Years and many tears later i’ve learned that lesson, to put God first in all you do. We all have that little voice inside that tells us what we need to do, and deep down we know what that is. Sometimes its easier to ignore that voice and continue on living our lives as usual than to listen to that voice when it tells us the thing we need to do is the opposite of what we want. But eventually it all unfolds and God’s will shall be done. I have been trying to stay prayed up and trust that God has a plan for me. Making the decision to leave my husband for good this time was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Although I knew in my heart what the little voice was telling me long before the abuse got physical, I would tell myself that it would get better, and for a little while after every altercation it did. But everytime after that got a little bit worse. I believe that when God speaks to us, its that little voice that we hear. We have to make the choice to listen to that little voice and trust in the Lord that he will make everything okay according to his plan. We also have to be willing to do what that little voice tells us, even when we feel like its the hardest thing we ever will have to do. Have Faith. My prayers are with you. I ask that you pray for me also.
I WILL PRAY FOR GOD TO GIVE YOU GUIDANCE BECAUSE I’M PRAYING FOR THE SAME THING IN MY MARRIAGE WE ARE BOTH 30 WITH A 3 YEAR OLD
AND I DON’T WANT HER TO THINK IT’S OK TO START SOMETHING AND JUST GIVE UP ON IT WHEN SOMETHING IS NOT
GOING RIGHT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DON’T WANT TO FEEL SHE HAS ENDURE HURT AND PAIN
I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WE HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED 4 YEARS WE DON’T EVEN SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AND YES I BELEIVE GOD CAN DO ALL THINGS EVEN RESTORE MARRIAGES BUT MY QUESTION IS WILL HE RESTORE SOMETHIG HE NEVER APPOVED-IT’S ALOT MORE TO MY STORY BUT I JUST WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU - AND LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE
How does Eric feel?
Marriage is not I love you if you will__________. I think many times we try to do things to change another person instead of working on ourselves 100%. We often will observe a behavior in our mates that will get us to thinking how can I get him to change this behavior. We try our new found remedy and if it does not work we get frustrated. How do you know that God does not have you there to save him indirectly? We have to be strong and the responsible people that God calls us to be. When you live with someone you being the believer, and them being a nonbeliever or one living as if they don’t, that person watches all of your behavior as confirmation as to weather or not you really believe what you say you do. You saying that you believe in God, this is only the first step; we have to live as though we do. Us women the first test is acting desperate when we meet a man and allowing him to have us in away that only our husbands should. That is the ultimate test of believing in God or not. We want to use God when it is convenient for us. We mistreat people that do not directly benefit us, we don’t give our time to people less fortunate, ignore our children. Work on you my sister truly; be kind to your husband no matter what. This may be the very thing that causes him to change his ways. Do not keep score of what you are doing for him, and what he is doing for you. Love is like art; many artists that create master pieces never get to actually enjoy the fame and enjoyment in which it brings. Give love unconditionally. Do you desire a gift of immediate gratification, or one that no man on earth can ever give or take away eternal life? That is the question. Do you love to get love back, or do you love because God loves you? What have you done so great that God should love you?
You are doing the right thing; as it’s said too many times. We hold on to the one thing that God is trying to away from us. We have to listen to him and not stray away from his word.
Dear Bishop Jakes, My name is Christy Estes-Thomas; I am now 32 years old. I had problems with infidelity in 2 relationships in my life, which have devastated me and my kid’s lives. Looking back I know eveything was my fault because I should have had the knowledge to take my time and to seek God. Before I got involved in relationships, I was mistreated and literally kicked out of my parents home by my mother because we could not get alone. I often wondered why my mother disliked me.MY mother would fight me and attack me over little things. This caused me to look for love in other people.
In the 1st relationship, I was involved with a man 10 years older than me. I met this man on a college campus where I was attending,while homeless. This man acted as if he really loved me. When we met he told me he had no children but then after a few years into the relationship after I became pregnant, each time with his son and daughter he became abusive. Then I found out he had other children. This caused our relationship to have problems. After I discovered a voicemail from a woman he was having an affair with he became violently abusive when I inquired about it while 5 months pregnant. I lost custody of both of my children to him because of a lie and now I pay him child support but get no visitation for my kids because of his strong hatred of me and partly due to the fact that I lack the necessary finances to afford a private attorney. I went back to college, met my current husband and the relationship turned into a marriage. After I became pregnant with his 1st son he became abusive and started cheating. I forgave him and after I became pregnant with his 2nd child he became violently abusive and he abandoned my son and me during my 7th month of pregnancy and abandoned us for his mistress. I forgave him and allowed him to come back, tried marriage counseling in order to save our marriage, but he left again. Later I found out he and his mistress had been plotting to forge and steal our income tax money. He got imprisoned out in Missouri and then called my home apologizing but I no longer trusted him. In fact, I no longer trust men.I no longer desire to date nor do I trust men. How can I prevent this from happening again should I find a new man? How can I find a man who will accept my children and love me and not cheat? Is there something with my personality that attracts abusive, cheating men? How can I learn to trust again?
Christy,
You have so many questions,and I understand why. I thought that there were no good men left until I meet a man name Jesus, and now I depend on him for everything. Man will fail you, but if you fall in love with Jesus, he will never fail you. I have been where you are as far as trust and I believed that a good man was hard to find so I stopped looking. Just wait, I promise the person that is for you, will come. Right now, fall in love with yourself and trust God. Focus on you, and that person will come and he will love your kids just as he loves you. Ask for that good man, speak it and it will manifest. You are trying to attract a different person but you need to change your thoughts. If you continue to think about cheating abusive men thats all you will ever attract. Allow time for you, you need to make sure that you are emotionally together before you can receive this person in your life. WAIT…just wait and he will arrive when it’s time.
I’ve decided to give up trying to please my husband and focus only on pleasing God. We have fought nearly our entire 13 years of marriage. I’ve come to the conclusion that we should have never gotten married. However, we did and have 2 boys to raise. I feel defeated and have completely failed at being a wife.
Hi Becky,
I am in the same situation my husband cheated on me and we fought a lot but I realized that I did not have the problem he did because when I forgave him for what he did he would always say that I was cheating and I have not cheated on my husband in all the 16 years we been together but what I learned to do was read my bible get to know me and asked god to lead me and guide me when I learned how to believe in myself I was able to over come the things he said to me and when he hit me I told him this will be the last time that you hit me and I believe when he saw my face and my body he knew then this women has change our relationship is not what it use to be but we are working on it because he know I am a good women mother and wife because I took in his sister daughters and raise them then I adopted them and you are treating me like this. But God, but God, God told me he would not put on me no more then I can bare, so you have not failed as a wife you made a mistake now just ask God to lead guide and direct you and speak good things into you life and thank God because he loves us. And my prayers are with you.
SHOULD I QUIT? Here’s the facts: I will be married 4 years in November. Over the past 2 years, we have had issues related to spirituality and finances. My husband does not tithe and does not pray with me on any issues. When I make the comment, let’s pray or study the bible, I am often told, I should have married a preacher. It seems we are not connected spirtiually- there is no fruit began praying for the family and even, praying for him Though my income is significantly greater than his, I provide for all expenses- child care for 2 babies, huge car note, all utilities, etc. My spouse tends to be “comfortable” with me being the sole provider. He works and his primary concern is to pay the house note-which is often late and then he seeks additional money from me-if any- to cover the expense. I did join in covenent with him before God BUT I AM BITTER AND TIRED. SO TIRED THAT I WANT TO QUIT YET I DON’T WANT TO DISHONOR GOD!.
Please help me…
sometimes we quit just before our breakthrough comes through. In the case of quiting a relationship,the situation does not just change automatically but you have to express your feelings to the your patner and work on it. Quiting should not be a form of running away,but an intelligent solutoin and knowing when it enough and beyond your power. But the key lies in knowing where your resistance and power ends. We should learn to not let go without a fight especially for things that were once dear to us, sit down and ask yourself why did I love the person or a thing before, this will increase your resistance level which may give you more energy to fight and time to see if there is still something worth developing.
Don’t just give up now, you’ve come this far, why have you been holding on all this time. Remember that Gold does not lie on the surface, dig for it ,even if it is yours. Make sure that the you do not loose the diamond while picking up straw,i.e, you may be losing the best you can ever get for yourself.
Don’t just quit, quit with technique and a wise one to avoid regrets. Always ask God the master of wisdom and all success, the one who never makes mistakes.
He has the master plan but you have to meet God half way by using the heart and brain He gave you to make decisions.
Stretch your faith if you really have to qiut and do it then trust in God to keep you strong and confident. Be strong and take courage.
I dated my husband for two years before we got married when I was expecting my first child at the age of 20. Then I became pregnant with my second child shortly after. We have been married for three years now and it seems as though all odds are against young age, infidelity, and involvement from both friends and family. I have tried so hard to make it work and every once in awhile he makes the same effort. Out of the three years we have been separated due to deployment and him threatening me with a divorce. He came home about two months ago from Iraq and we were suppose to reconciling. But at the last minute he told me it was hopeless. I love my husband and want it to work but I know our main issue is that we need to put God in the middle.
Update:
I have always been a Christian but I have not always been obedient as I should have to the voice of God. However, I am much closer to God but I know that I need to let go of the junk(Hurt) in my life and allow healing so I can be much better for my children and the man of God’s own choosing. Therefore, Although I have experienced hurt I am following God and I am doing the best so I can be the virtuous woman for my children and myself and that gives me great satisfaction. I have enrolled back in college and for my healing I take on life’s challenges one day one day at a time by reading my bible, fasting and intercessorry prayers for others.
Christy:
Your update has greatly encouraged me. I read the other stories but my heart responded to yours. My heart swelled as I read your testimony. I never married but I also have not always been obedient either to the voice of God. I love how you have put your trust in the Lord to mold you into the virtuous woman you are becoming. I also love and relate to how you have taken steps towards furthering your education and furthering your relationship with the Lord. I also am taking life’s challenges one day at a time and I love interceeding for others in prayer. Continue to walk in the favor that the Lord has so divinley laid before you.
Dear Bishop Jakes and spiritual readers:
I am in great distress. For years, I have been trying to obey God and live for Him and allow Him to perfect that work in me that He began so long ago. But I am at a cross-road in my life and I do not know which way to go. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. When I first met my husband, I wasn’t as knowledgeable about the word as I am now (still learning of course) and my husband wasn’t spiritual at all. Before we got married, we constantly had all kinds of problems and broke up several times. My husband told me countless times that he wasn’t the marrying type but I failed to listen. He told me that he wasn’t able to love me the way I wanted to be loved and I brushed that off. I told him I would settle for the love that he gave versus what my heart truly desired. Finally when I told him that I wanted to be married or our relationship was over because I didn’t want to live in sin anymore, he did it. The day we got married at the courthouse, I knew instantly that this wasn’t right but I ignored it and moved forward. Now ten years later, one separation, and now the thought of divorce, I am sitting here filled with confusion. George is a good guy however we do not communicate, finances are awful, we never go anywhere together, and he makes all the decisions and then blame me when they are the wrong decisions. He becomes so stressed out ALL THE TIME that he takes his frustrations out on me through verbal attacks. I have tried to please him, pray for him, talk to him, encourage him but nothing works. He started going to church with me when we separated almost a year ago but the moment we got back together he quickly stopped. We have two children and he doesn’t spend anytime with them as well. 99% of the time it is just me and the boys doing things together. The 1% is the time he spends on the sofa with the remote in his hand or riding to get a peace of mind ‘as he states’ on his days off. Because of this up and down ride that we have been on, my heart has begun to close. The love that once used to sustain how I felt about him and my marriage no longer exist. Now instead of praying to God to save my marriage now I pray for God to open a door and release me. I am afraid however because I do not want to be disobedient to God. I have read word after word in the Bible about marriage and how we are not to separate. What do I do? I don’t want to be miserable anymore.
Girl, Pam i feel your pain and share in your experience.This is what i am doing i hope it helps. I sugguest 1. let it be known to him how you feel.Let him know that the love is slowly leaving from you and check his reaaction. If loves you then he will do whatever it takes(ie..marriage counseling.2 Make a deadline for him to get himself together (you don’t have to be miserable for the rest of your life.I told myself that yeah the grass is not greener on the otherside but i rather be alone than unhappy.) another year and while you are doing that keep a journal on how he makes you feel when he I he goes through the verbal attack and there you can look to see if he is making any changes or (just to see how you fell we forget sometimes) and at the end of that year(my husbands year is not up) you decided if u have done all u can then there will be nothing left but to serve him with papers for seperation ( so he can get his self together without you) or divorce papers. My friend had to do that and she says she is at peace like something was lifted of off her and she is now going to get what God wanted her to have and work on herself and her relationship with God.
Someone close to us has hurt us more than once. We see the signs and usually ignore them. Then we face the difficult times. We don’t understand what happened to this person. Why is he/she treating me this way NOW? We saw it coming and we ignored the signs. The person believes he/she is right, and that is hard for you, because you feel like he/she is definitely not right. I can only imagine how you feel. I have been down the bumpy road a time or two myself. I am praying for you to forgive. Yes, you can forgive and move forward.
Matt 18:33 “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” God be with you.
Pamela..I share your same emotions and even experiences. It is difficult..when you begin to pray for a release rather than to renew or annoint our marriages afresh. I have asked myself over and over, did I make the right choice; did I not conduct enough research or was blinded by my emotions.
I am a 24 year old female, who is very enthusiastic about my career. I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice 2 years ago. I am very happy with the choice that I made as far as a lifelong career. About a month before I graduated college I obtained a job at a Juvenile Detention Facility making about 30K a year, which is pretty good for someone who has not graduted yet. However, as time went on I graduated and I was no longer happy where I was in my life and my career. I began job searching and of course I ran into the problem that most college graduates run into, no experience! I finally obtained a job opportunity, that I felt was perfect for me. This was where I always wanted to begin and finish my career. I became very excited when I got an offer from one of the top Law Enforcement Agencies in my state. The only things were that it was a temporary position and I would have to take an enormous pay cut and temporary position, but I was assured that the pay cut would only last for 6 months to a year. I was told by the Director of the Agency that since I didn’t have much experience, this would be the best way to get my foot in the door.
I took the position in hopes that God would steer me and help me survive along the way. It is now coming up on the 6 month mark, however the state has endured a big budget crisis and I am not sure how long it may be now before I get a permanent position and start making more money. I would have no problem sticking this out if I actually knew what was going to happen. I am not happy that I, a once very independent person, am now having to rely on my mother (who has always worked multiple jobs to support me) for money as well as support. I feel that I have failed and disappointed my mother, even though I know that she supports me 100%. I have recently thought about what I should do in this situation. I have not been as close with God as I was, and I understand that faith and my walk with God will play a big role in my dicison and my success. I want my relationship with God to be better, and I have started to pray and talk with God on a daily basis. I feel that I can not keep putting myself and my mother through the struggling and lack of money. I have thought that if I don’t know anything about getting a permanent position by January I will have to find something else that will pay all the bills, without having to manuver things.
I am a godly child but I have disobeyed god by being a unmarried relationship for 11 years. Years after year he tells me that we are going to get married and nothing never happens. Besides his attitude, gambling habits, fights verbal, physical and emaotional. I am tied and ready to give up. I thanked god that no children are involved. I attend church on a regular basic and he doesn’t. I am ready to move out for good. I am only 29 years old I have a long life ahead of me and to be honest with myself he is holding me back from the real world he has lived his life and yes he is much older than me. I have faced the fact that he doesn’t want me with god so now I think it’s time to move on with my life.
Nicole, I do not know your private conversations with God but know that because your paramour does not chose you, does not make you any less of a valued woman.
Dear Bishop Jakes,
I really need to help. I got married 10 years ago to a man that had a different spiritual belief than I. I am christian and he’s an Israelite. We got along fairly well until he decided to take another “wife”. In the beginning, I told him that this would be unacceptable. After 3 years of trying to get him to leave this woman, we divorced. Soon after the divorce, I met a man from my church. He appeared to be a man of God. He knew the bible and we had good communication. We got married in less than 6 months of my divorce. The marriage has been a nightmare. We fought constantly, sought marriage counselings from our pastor but nothing changed. The fights would be over him not paying any bills in the house and how he put his family before me.
Well, we are separated and I feel that the relationship is over. Now, I look back and see how he just used me as a “meal ticket”.
This is the real issue: My ex wants me back and I never stop loving him. Because he was my first husband, am I biblical bound to him?
Gee,
Why would you be biblically bound to a person who is not only unequally yoked, but also polygamous? You are obviously making emotional decisions, and making BIG decisions, too quickly. Slow down, you are moving too fast!
Before you make any further decisions, take time to think, fast, pray. Seek counseling and guidance from those you trust the most, those who will give you good, sound advice even if it might be something you don’t want to hear, or that will hurt your feelings. Seek professional guidance if you do not have anyone who will do so.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I’m a 27 year old, who has been married for 5 years. The first 5 years have been very hard. We first began dealing with my baggage of hurt, suicide, and wondering why did I get married at such a young age. Then we dealt with him and his female friends. Now we are trying to rebuild but I feel there is a gap and I don’t know if I will ever trust him, because of some of his actions and mine. We have 3 kids so that is a big concern. I just don’t want to be married for more years to come then it comes out that he is still cheating on me with someone else. I really don’t want to be made a fool of. I don’t know if I should get out now but who is to say the next relationship I get in won’t be worse. I’m really confused on what to do. I pray but I seem to get no response. I ask him to go to church with me but he goes because I ask not because he wants a relationship with God. Just need some advice.
I have been in a friendship for a while now. It has left me broken at times, and even in sin in other times. My friend and I have a lot in common, but it started out in an ungodly way and has led to destruction because of my neediness and insecurity. We parted ways for a little bit and during this time God revealed some things to me about myself and how desperate and insecure I was to put up with what I put up with just to say I have a friend. Things have changed between us now and things are fine but I can’t help fearing that if I don’t get out that I am disobeying God and that He will allow something bad to happen. God has drastically changed me and I have been seeking Him so He can completely transform me for His glory and not my own. I hate to feel as though I am being disobedient to God by staying in this friendship. I don’t know what to do and need help in making a very tough decision. I have been asking God to deliver me from my own desires and my own will, hoping that this decision won’t always be hard and that through His deliverance, one day I will just want to give it up. I am still seeking GOd for change but don’t know if He wants me to make the decision whether He decides to change my desire to do so or not. Someone help!
Cherry,
You said: “We parted ways for a little bit and during this time God revealed some things to me about myself and how desperate and insecure I was to put up with what I put up with just to say I have a friend.”
First of all, let’s stop calling this a friendship so we can see what it really is. It doesn’t sound like a friendship at all. Sometimes calling it something else stops us from seeing the reality of what it IS. This sounds like a destructive, ungodly, immoral relationship that is hurting you spiritually and emotionally.
If your account is accurate, the deeper issue is not your love for him but your lack of love for yourself! Until you can love yourself, you will never be able to love your neighbor - no matter what you call the relationship. I am always amazed at how many people will stay in crazy “friendships” just to avoid being by themselves!
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
Hello pastor jakes I have been married for the past 3 years and my husband has cheated since day one he now has a 1 year old son we have tired to make it work and everytime it last a few months here and there right now its rocky I’m trying to give him aother chance however i dont trust him? so my questions is how do i get back to that trust or is this marraige too late and yes we do have two kids together
Tiffany,
You say he has been cheating off and on for the past three years, even after you caught him. All I can say to you is that psychology teaches that the best guide to predict future behavior is past behavior…
Now you have to take it from there.
All the best,
Bishop Jakes
I’ve been married for 9 years and I just don’t know where the relationship will end up. We’ve been separated for about 6 months, we have two kids that are with me. I pray, I go to Bible study, I tithe, but people always say “you’ll know”. But, do you actually know what to do? I love my spouse, but is the separation the best thing. Should you pray to keep a marriage once you’re separated, or should you pray for God to give you strength to start divorce proceedings? I don’t want to keep praying for something that God may or may not be trying to take me from. I was brought up in a two parent family. We went on vacations, we spent time together. But, my husband wasn’t brought up the same way. I can’t help but believe that some of the values I have and some of the ones he has are totally different. It’s as though the writing is on the walls when it comes to doing what’s right as far as being a husband and father goes, so why can’t he see it. When I mention church, prayer, family time, he’s always too busy. But, he wants his family,and he’s always concerned about money. He won’t hear of counseling (spiritual or otherwise). So, I’m wondering….should I continue to pray? Or is just a big step that I must take in order to be free and live as God wants us all to live? (which is by His word)
Dear TD Jakes
I am ready to give up on my marriage, because we have too many problems in our relationship. When I first met my husband he was a sweet and kind person to me and I always said to myself and God I wanted to meet a man that was a godly man. I knew that I wasn’t living right myself. So finally this man came into my life and we would pray together attend church together and he would talk to me about the bible. As a matter of fact he knew the bible better than me. So we would have bible study together. Then futher into our relationship things changed alittle bit with him but I stuck in there with him and 9 months later he ask me to marry him, I was so much in love. We move into a house together. Then things started. First he started to stay out over night, then he would come home and tell me something to make up for it. Then we got married in Aug 11, 2007 the things really go worse, things went missing from house, he started staying out more and more, he started going from job to job, then finally he started getting abusive verbally and physically. And everytime he goes out and stay he thinks I shouldn’t be mad at him. We have a daughter that at home and they don’t get along because of what she see him doing to me. She 12 years old. I am just fed up with the situation and I just want to give up on this marriage. I pray and ask God to hepl my husband with his problems, and help with our marriage. I have faith that God will help us. I am just tired and want out. I dont know what else to do.
I believe that everything in my life happens for a reason. To include the people I meet. 4 years ago I started going through a very nasty, abusive divorce which just ended this summer. Our marriage was a mentally and emotionally abusive on my ex’s part, which I made me a part of the neverending cycle.I knew something had to change a little bit before he told me he was divorcing me. But I was quite ready to make the change. It took a couple of years of good therapy to help me through that. 2 years ago, I met an acoholic. For about a year now I have been at a crossroad on whether to stay in the relatenship or leave. I contemplate on what is the reason he has come into my life. I have been going thru this should I stay or should I go. He doesn’t live with more anymore. He only lasted living with me for about 4 months before his insanity pushed me to the edge. I feel that I need to work on my decision But first I need to figure out where it is that I want to go. I am excited about reading his book to help me make a decision.
Right now, I am not happy in my marriage and I don’t know if I should stay. I have known my husband for 29 years. We went together in highschool, attended the same church, and our familes have known each other for years. The relationship didn’t last too long in highschool. Even after the break up, we still kept in touch with each other. We started dating again 1992, and decided to get married in 1998. To me this was the man God wanted me to marry. I thought I knew my him because of our history.
We have been married for 10 years now and the last 2 years have been difficult for me. We relocated to another state 8 years ago. I have no family here. My huband said he prayed about this move and I followed my husband despite my personal feelings. Since we have been here he’s been laid off three times. Now I have become the person that brings in the money to take care of the household. I try very hard not to make him feel less than a man, I am trying to be a supportive wife. At times,it seems that I am the one that gets walked on. In the last 2 years I have dealt with my husband getting calls/emails from other women and only God know what else. These women know that he is married and have a family. We have a son together and it is getting harder to put on a happy face for friends and family.
My husband has not been verbally or physcially abusive to me, but I find myself crying alot asking God why, what did I do to make my husband turn to someone outside the marriage. Even when I say that I have given it to the Lord, I still get upset and cannot let it go. I pray daily for my husband, and my marriage. I love my husband and I want to be married to him. However, the trust is not there. Can there be a marriage and no trust?
I have dated this guy for 6½ years and 1 year of marriage. In the beginning yeas he had a small drug problem, no education and didn’t know the first thing about getting a job. He has come a long way, but not far enough. I have been seriously thinking about divorce because he can’t keep a job because of the drug problem, we can’t have kids because of it, and when he does work all the money goes to probation fees. I have worked since I was 15 now 27 and keep a job, now I want more things in life that he can’t give me. We seperated a few times and he has ruined his credit, so eveything falls on mine. He can’t help me buy a house he can’t help me with all the bills because he has an automobile note just like I do. I am at this point in my life I pray that if he isn’t the right one for me for the Lord to please remove me him out of my life because I strongly believe in my heart he is holding me down. Have no clue where to go from here.
JUST TRUST GOD
DON’T FORGET TO PRAY AND FAST
WE HAVE TO REMEMBER HE KNOWS AND SEE’S ALL IN THE WORDS OF SIS.YOLONDA ADDAMS “THERE IS NO PAIN THAT JESUS CAN’T FEEL-NO HURT THAT HE CAN NOT HEAL” SO LADIES LET’S PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER AND CLAIM VICTORY FOR ONE ANOTHER AND TELL THE ENEMY NOTHIG WILL SEPARATE FROM THE LOVE GOD NOT EVEN OUR LOVING HUSBANDS
PLEASE PRAY WITH ME FOR ME AND MINE AND I WILL PRAY WITH YOU
Why is their nothing to help first time felons? I have a first time felon record and I regret that it happen every day. I pray that it will go away but it want. I made a change in life but yet I am still judge every day. I graduated with a four year degree and I cannot get a job. I have a wife and a new born child and I can’t even support my family with a decent paying job. Cannot anyone see that I have change? I am struggling and I have no help! I even tried to enlist in the army and yet I cannot because of my record. What is a man to do now? People never realize how bad things are until they are put into a situation. I know you may not understand this but there is a voice that needs to be answered. What about the people that want to change and trying but no one will help them? Is there a future to hope in? I still cannot believe I am a felon because I was never a trouble maker I just got caught in the wrong crowd and now the world is making me pay for the rest of my life. This is so embarrassing to go through this. I have been broken down to the smallest of all. I still have faith in God because that is all I have now. I don’t know what to do now. I really need a new life for my family. There are so many things out there that help others but what about the ones who made a mistake in life and want to change.
David:
Be of good cheer. You will reap if you faint not. David, I read your testimony and pondered it in my heart for a couple of days. I also discussed it with one of my closes friend. I had to email you to suggest that you create your own stream of income. Start your own business. You could do landscaping, cleaning office buildings, cooking, whatever you are good at. I have two friends who just stepped out on faith and started doing what people needed done and they businesses are successful today. They may not be working out of elaborate buildings but they are generating a great stream of income. One now has a commercial advertising his business here locally. David, you can do this with your wife by your side supporting your efforts and with the Lord leading and guiding you. I will be praying for you.
God bless you. My best friend and future mate is experiencing the same problems. I try to encourage him by telling him that God didn’t save him to forsake him. He is faithful and will give you witty inventions and ideas so that you can provide for your family.
IHAVE BEEN PUSH TO THE POINT OF DIVORCE.I HAVE BEEN LOST FOR DAYS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
i do not divorce my husband but he wants
please pray for our marige
we have a son he is just 2
Dear Bishop
Am a young married lady who is 26yrs old.We have a 3year old daughter.
We have been married for 3 years this past june.The problme is my husband is drug addict from the time he was born.His parents were using drugs before he was born.He is graet person husband,great dad and good to everyone.
Ever since we have been married my husband has been home only for 6 to 7 month on and off in and out of jail and i have been around as a goog wife and helping him change his life by praying for him.
Now he went back to jail because he did not go back to te rehab were he was.
He is sentenced for 4 years now and am confused on what to do.
We bought a house which i have been taking care of with Gods grace i have managed.
Am very comminted to my God and i have been praying for an answer on the right thing to do Bshop but i have heard from hin yet.
I sing in the choir at my church and am involved in ladies meetings and in my community.
Am planning to move to maryland next summer.
My flesh is done with my husband but i want your advise please help me.
He has given his life to God and if you hear him preach to his friend,it’s unbelievable for someone he did not know anything about God.
Am praying for strenghth too so that i stay faithful to my God an he can keep using me for his kingdom.
i do visit him in jail cos i know thats it say in the bible and am stillmarried to him and he has no one else to visit except for me and my pastor and his wife.
Please communicat to me call me if you have to 412 758 8769.caroline
Dear Bishop Jakes,
I have been married to my 2nd husband for 7 years and am contemplating divorce. During this marriage my husband was called to the ministry. We have been having problems for the past 6 of 7 years of the marriage. We have been to counseling three times and each time he and I vow to do what it takes to make the marriage work. After about 2 weeks, his desire fades and we end up right back where we started but this last time was worse. He doesn’t love and treat me like the Bible says to. Let me back up and say that during the course of our marriage, he has threatened to leave me 3 times and I begged him to stay. 2 other times he actually did leave. The last time we were seperated for 30 days but I let him come back with the promise that things would be better. He agreed to go to counseling with our pastor for 6 months. After 2 sessions he was done and we haven’t been back since. I feel like I have done everything I possibly can to make this marriage work, i.e. counseling on my own, counseling together, marriage workshops, books, prayer and fasting but he just does not seem to want to make any effort. I feel like he enjoys watching me run around trying to please him and make this work. We don’t sleep in the same bed, we don’t spend time together, he rejects me when I make any advances, he doesn’t touch me and doesn’t want me to touch him, we pretty much are just existing in a home together. Our daily conversations are pretty much hi, bye and goodnight and he acts like he is ok with this. Our pastor has talked to him one-on-one and nothing has changed. And last but not least, he is addicted to internet porn. We have discussed this issue once and he said he could handle it without any help from me. Needless to say, that was several years ago and he is still viewing it. What do I do? I am sooooo frustrated and tired of marching around the same mountain and nothing changes. Help me.
I’ve been with my husband now for 20 years, married 14 and it’s been hard. I’ve been through adultery, disease, lies, thief, lite abuse, abandonment, disrepect and all by one man whom I said, I do too. There have been multiple times that we have separated during these times and each time the Lord taught me more about me. I always blamed my spouse for not doing his part, but the question was, “Am I doing Mine?” I questioned the Lord, several times and he gave me his word to back up the decisions of divorce. Forgiving him daily, as Christ forgives us daily; Loving my enemy, praying for him when he uses me, blessing him and not cursing him, loving him as thy neighbor, doing unto him as I would do Christ. All of these things I weren’t doing and I can say, it’s been better when I applied the word of God to my marriage & myself. I hated what became of our marriage, we didn’t go to church together, we barely spent time together with each other, we started discussing each other out loud around our children, we argued all the time, I threw things around the house just because and still telling the children to respect him even though I wasn’t doing the same. It was hard to do all of this, because I hated him, for not being the spouse he once was. When I looked at my pastor whose been with married over 40 years and others who have been married even longer. I told myself that if they could make their marriage work with the Lord, I can do the same. I love my husband and only want to be married, one time. Now instead of me raising my voice and being ugly, because he doesn’t keep his word or called to let me know he’ll be home late. I welcome him with love and thus far, we are now able to communicate better. I love it, because we are getting back to that mode of friendship. Ladies, don’t give up on your spouse, it’s easy to do. The enemy comes in to kill, steal and destroy. If you are patient and love him, then continue to go to God. Pray for that man or woman you are with, love him like the first time, change your ways, do things differently, look for the answers in the Bible. Despite the fact that your spouse may not do the same, God honors that. Don’t look for him/her to make you whole. Only Jesus can do that and whether you believe it or not sometimes it starts when you make the first step in changing you. You’ll see that being in agreement only works when you let go and let God. Speak to your situation and don’t let your circumstances determine your faith.
Bishop Jakes,
I have been reading the book and I have also been having an affair for years. I started off feeling guilty and then numb to the affair, this man and myself have discussed all of the 20 questions and he has been everything in the book and I love him with all my heart, I decided to leave the relationship, because what we were doing was wrong, but I can’t stop the tears or the pain I feel inside.
My husband and I have been together for 20 years and married for 12 years. I recently found out my husband is cheating again. I asked him to leave but he won’t. I have put up with a lot of affairs.I am numb now. How much are you supposed to take for the sake of your marriage?
I may decide to leave my job of seven in a half years because my uper management and myself dont get along. In order to avoid getting felony charges put on me my attorney has advised me to quit my job. I am only 26 but my issue with quiting is I am eight months pregnant I feel like this is a loose loose situation if I quit I will be having a baby with no job or I will be having a baby with a job and the possibility of facing felony charges. Do I take the chance or just quit.
Bishop,
My husband and I have recently seperated after 12 years of being married. Two weeks ago he told me that he was with someone else and that he wanted me to leave him alone so he could show her the same respect that he gave to me when were together. At first I was okay with the seperation because I felt time apart would give us time to reconnect. Now Im so numb because I didn’t see a third party interfering. I have some many questions that are unanswered, he wont talk to me. My self worth is at an all time low, every turn I make is met with tears. Im lost don’t know how much longer I can do this. Both of us need Him in our lives, but lately we don’t even acknowledge Him. I’m hurting and it seem like he doesn’t care. My real question is what do I do now? This man has hurt me before in the past to the point that suicide was an easy option. I know its not health to hold out for hope that we might get back together. I don’t know if he is telling me the truth about finding someone else. His best friend and his Aunt were dumbfounded because he has not confided in them that he was even interested in another person. So do I wait and see or should go ahead contact an lawyer for a divorce. Money problems was pretty much our marriage killer I son recent went off to college, due to our income he was unable to recieve any financial aid, so I took on another job and basically our marriage fell apart because there was no time spent together. Please I need guidance to my next step.
God bless you Bishop Jakes,
I have a huge problem and I need some guidance before I do the wrong thing. You see I have been struggling all my life trying to get a place of my own and I’ve been moving from house to house and I’ve even slept in my car. Just recently I got put out where I was staying because the people thought that I wasn’t doing anything with my life. Now, I’m back with my brother, a place where I don’t want to be because me and him don’t get along and all he wants to do is control my life. I’m 25 years old and I have to give up my freedom (hanging out with friends) because he wants me to work, not go to school so that I can move out with in the next six months. Now, here’s a little history about me. I’m 25 years old, both parents are dead, and my credit is bad so I can’t get anything. Not even an apartment. I work a part time job and I’m trying to find a full time job. My brother is controlling my life and I can take it no more. I just feel like giving up and committing suicide. What do I do? Can you pray for me?
Hey girl, I surely know what it’s like to want better and try your hardest to get it. I know abot living the gypsy life,yes going from place to place sleeping on this ones floor, that ones sofa. My credit right now it’s bad,but that don’t mean that it’s gonna stay bad.you said that your brother wants you to work and not go to school,you work a part time job,well you can go to school too,don’t say no,because you can. I have to be real with you Latricia It maybe time for you to grow up.please don’t hurt yourself instead try turning this situation over to GOD. I used to feel like you do,but I thought about how JESUS CHRIST died for me ,and that was enough for me.GOD has truly blessed me I have my own apartment and did you know that every day you wake up your blessed,you say how so,well you woke up didn’t you.GOD woke you up and it wasn’t no mistake that he did.HE knew the problems you been having,and how you been feeling like you ready to give up and still GOD, got you up,and he’s waiting for you to turn you problems over to him. I used to think that if I didn’t ask GOD for help with my problems that I was strong enough to handle them, but the truth is I was to foolishly weak for thinking I could do it without his help.I dare you to give JESUS ALL your problems and watch how we work them out for you.Put your trust in GOD and see for yourself,I’M telling you I tried him and nothing can compare to him. No when you give him your problems wait on him DO NOT be like well GOD IS TAKING TOO LONG AND TAKE YOUR PROBLEM BACK TRUST HIM.Just wait believe me His timing is perfect.YOU ARE BLESSED AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS
dear friends.i’ve read most of your letters, I was also married out of disobidient to God,after many atempts to save my marriage i ended up divorcing my ex-husband.
what i can say to u is to ask God to give u innerpeace from him , then u’ll be able to forgive yourselves then your husbands then release your husbands in your hearts, if you want out make sure that’s ecxatly what you want.God will honour your decisions,think of your children how are u going to raise them if you are not healthy and how long will u live if u remain in an unhealthy relationship.God hates devorce but that does not mean he will hate u.After devorcing my ex. i made sure my relationship with God was ok then i started conversing with my father telling him all about me,where i’ve been and where i wanted to be.Believe me God is a loving ,forgiving and understanding father. He will understand and forgive you then i told my father i wanted to love again and ask for his guidance i even told him what kind of a person i had in mind boy right now i’m in a healthy relationship and will be getting married soon,the most important thing is to make peace with your past and seek Gods face all other things will follow u’ll have a fresh start and a healthy life.God bless u all
Please don’t take your life. send me email so we can chat. We all have issues. Inez
Hi Bishop, I’m 27 and into a fairly new marriage that is in desperate need for help. My husband is 28. We were married for two years in December, after we were friends for about eight months and dated for a year. Our marriage is failing and the tricky part is I really don’t understand why. My husband has been cheating on me, first emotiionally and now more recently (December 2008 that I know of) physically. While he is doing this, if I don’t know we have a perfectly beautiful relationship. We don’t argue out of hand, we get along great, and we share beautiful moments. Intimately, we have a wonderful relationship. Yet he is cheating behind all of that. When I find out and speak about it, he gets distant and says he wants to leave, but when I ‘move on’ and we go about our day as ‘normal’ he’s not distant, but I know he is still cheating. I have expressed to him that I love him and I am in no way judging him. But I need to know why and what’s wrong before I give up on this marriage. I forgot to mention that we do in fact have three kids, two of which are mine from previous relationships. They all regard and know him as ‘daddy’. But our family is so unhappy. We NEED HELP and I don’t know who to turn to that would help us. I know that nothing is impossible to overcome when you turn to our Heavenly Father, but I don’t think he is quite ready. I love my husband, however I do know and recognize that I don’t need him to succeed in my life. Just the thought of letting go of something so precious, my family will be apart, and I really don’t know the reasons, hurts my soul a great deal. When I talk to him he also feels as though I am intentionally trying to put him down, even though I really don’t bring up the events of the past. What am I do? How will we begin to surpass this obstacle?
I was just wondering. I became saved in August 2004 and have been with my husband since 1981. At times when he feels he has to be defensive if I say something he calls me names in front of my 16 year old son. How do I defend myself against this without disobeying God? I always pray for his salvation and tell myself that it is the Devil trying to steal my joy. My husband is very short tempered and if I say something that does not agree with what he is saying or feels that he is being “targeted” he starts attacking back by namecalling and he doesnt care if the kids are there or not.
I feel your pain. I have been married to my husband for 23 years but together for 27 years. I have been with this man since I was 14 years old and now I am 40 years old. I also have three boys but two of them are grown and still live at home. I became saved in August 2004 and have been praying for my husband’s salvation since then. He, like your husband, thinks that Christians are hypocrites and refuses to go to church with me. I also prayed many times whether I should leave or stay. He has been unfaithful many times and has been emotionally and physically abusive with me. Now that I am a christian, I cant help but to commend my marriage and husband to God for salvation and healing. I will pray that you get the answers that you need to make the decisions that you need to do for the sake of yourself and your children. God Bless you.
Hi Bishop,
I have been married for 10 years and I’m thinking about leaving my marriage. When we first got married we had to moved into my husband’s grandmothers house. One day returning home we notice that my husband’s family threw out all of my furniture and clothing including the children’s stuff out on the side of the
rode. My husband’s family treated me very badly and also tried to fight me when I was pregnant with his child. My husband knew how hurt I was, but he told me to ignore them. We attend church together and his family goes to the same church, so they began to be the problems in the church. My husband is a minister and I have been trying to support him in the church, but the people in the church treated me bad. I decided to leave the church, now we are having problems in our marriage. Recently, I asked my husband to go with me to another church, for we can grow and hear God. But, my husband refused because he said, that God did not tell him to leave, and the other reason that he won’t leave is because he was raised up in this church.
What am I suppose to do, I need help? I am about to walk out on our marriage. Is it God will that I suppose to stay at that church and continue to be treated like that?
I’m reading before you do for the second time and it came to late for me, I divorced after 27 years of marriage because I tought that was the right thing to do and now realize that it was not after reading before you do. We had problems in the marriage but the Lord always got us through it. My ex went to drugs and now the Lord has cleaned him up and we are friends. I had an affair that he never new about and got away from the Lord and started listening to others rather than my husband and lost everything. We are talking about remarrying but he’s now in Mississippi and I’m in Texas. I don’t know what to do. I have come clean with God and him.