 | BEFORE YOU LOVE:Get Engaged |
It’s not always easy to ask about a person’s sexual history or whether or not they have a criminal past, but certainly these are critical concerns. Sure the answers could be embarrassing for you and your partner, but it will be more uncomfortable later if you are keeping secrets that are suddenly revealed in an unpleasant or public way, or if you have to hear the information about your loved one from someone else.  |
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well for me what had work was i prayed to GOD and told him if its not his will then he must put an end to it because if GOD is not at the head of your life then also your marriage will not work by doing so i found the next day after our wedding that even my wife was praying the same thing and we must also remember that two cant walk unless they agree so before u get engaged just remember to go to GOD in prayer for only GOD knows a persons heat u will not know at first it will take years so put GOD first
My partner and I are talking about taking our relationship to the next level..Engagement! I’m divorced for about six years and he’s been divorced for fourteen years. I’ve been knowing him since 2006 we dated briefly for several months. The distance between us made it difficult for me at the time. So I basically ended the courtship, However, he and I went on to pursue other relationships for about a year and neither relationship worked out. I called him hoping to maybe give it another chance that maybe I was a little to hasty with my decision the first time. I was hoping that he wasn’t involved with anyone else. Infact he was just ending his relationship at the time. So both of our relationships ended basically at the same time. Neither one of us were happy in those relationships. We started off a little slow at first, then before we realize it, things started moving quickly. We share the same goals,desires and love each other dearly. We make each laugh and feel comfortable.Just recently we decided to abstain from intercourse until we get married. We are both seeking to do it God’s way, we’ve tried it our way and it didn’t work. A lot of factors in both of our other relationships that we don’t want to bring into this one. We’ve been going to church together reading scriptures and I feel it’s very important to apply God’s principles in our everyday life that’s the only way to have a successful union. That’s just a little bit of backround on us. Now” the other major stuff that comes with this is six children. Three are adults, two will be adults in the coming year and the last one is a teenager. I want to believe that we will be ok with dealing with each other children but often-times these things can have an affect on marriages. I met his youngest daughter and she was very disrespectful to him the entire weekend…She didn’t give me any problems, her and my daughter got along very well together, she also get along with his son, they act like brother and sister. I feel that if she can treat her father like this, her first time meeting me, how would she react to me later on and maybe she was respectful to me because she was in my house. I just know once we become united as one I’m not going to let no one mistreat him. The two older children who have very good jobs live in different states,also lean on him for support at times. So how do I confront this issue without him thinking I don’t like his like his children?
I would first pray and ask God to give you the words to say to him. Secondly, lay it out on the table to him and let him know how you feel. At least, if you talk about it now, if the problem comes up, it can already be nipped in the bud. Hold your head up and be encouraged. Keep God first in everything that you do. God Bless.
I just want to say how much I respect you all putting God first in your lives. When you do this really everything else falls in place. When you’ve tried everything else… try Jesus!!
well it will take a lot of prayer,of course.she probably disrespect him,because he’s been letting her.that’s something he need to tend to.
I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and we moved in together about 5 months after we started dating. Come to find out, he has shacked up with EVERY girlfriend he has ever had! I love him but i feel trapped. Sometimes he treats me a certain way based on his previous relationships. I am 23 in college, and working 2 jobs. Shacking up is not what i need right now. how do i tell him i want to move out without hurting his feelings or our relationship. i feel trapped.
I am in a very similar relationship and share your pain. However, when I think about my partner and I not going through with the plans to marry. That thought is harder than trying to make our relationship work. I will pray for you as well as me that God directs our paths to the right decision. My partner and I are both commited to reviewing TD Jakes Before you do series to search in our selves what is the best approach. God will give us and you and answer but we must be brave and have faith to do what He requires.
SImply, Pack up and move. When you have really made up your mind, that is all that you will do. No if ands or buts.
To be honest about this being engaged situation. I am about to be married and me and my fiance have a son together. He is just 5 months. We came to God for forgiveness for having conceived our son before marriage. We both had some quite interesting pasts. But we learned not to repeat them. There are some things about an individual’s sexual history that is quite uncomfortable to talk about. That also causes weddings to be called off. A person’s past shouldnt matter. What they are doing to change that should matter. Now if they keep repeating the past then thats where the problem comes in at. Also when it comes to the person finding out from someone else about something you needed to tell the person you are about to marry, that is something that is needed to be discussed whether the person accepts it or not. The past doesnt have anything to do with the present. If that person gets mad over that and doesnt realize that , a certain part of their life was over and done with long time ago, then that person didnt love them from the start.
reply the lady who wants to ask the boyfriend when he is going to engage her. well girlfriend, the best thing to do is just wait for the guy to tell you to be his wife. time will come just be patient. because i believe your time is coming dont rush things. am actually waiting fir that time too. am seeing this handsome dude who i really love very much with all my heart. and we ve been together for the last 1 and a half years. am at school and his working. its not easy for us but we try to make our relationship work because we are in two different blesses.Committ your relationship to God and all will be well
There is something that is confusing me about most questions posted here.I dont mean to judge but I dont understand how does a Christian move in with someone they are nt married to, let alone having sex. Christians are supposed to be holy as He is holy since we have dedicated our lives to Christ as the living sacrifice.
May God bless you all with the spirit of wisdom and revelation as you seek to know Him better.
From the tone of your e-mail you are judging. The Bible says that the strong is to RESTORE, least we find ourselves in the same situation. If a person says he has not sinned, he deceives himself and that’s a sin. Let us pray for our brothers and sisters as we continue to pray for ourselves. We’re all striving for perfection.
I agree with you. As christians we set the standard for the world to follow, for greater is He that is in us then he that is in the world. As a christian we are not supposed to have sex until we are married because God said the marriage bed is supposed to be undefiled and the adulters he will judge. We are not to move in with anyone either, because this is not God’s will before marriage. They say a virgin is a crown to her husband. We are to remaine pure until God sends the man that I am suposed to marry into my life.
I agree that sounds crazy….A lot of people say one thing but they don’t live it and it’s not judging but living by the word
My situation is a little different,I have been dating this wonderful men for the past 5 months and when we first met it felt like we have known each other for years because of the connection and chemistry between us. In the process of dating I invited him to church and God right there and then touched his life and ever since that day He is a different man. Now, in the first few months of dating we didn’t follow Gods principles the way I have always been thought by my parents and God. Only by Gods grace and mercy He gave us the opportunity to do things his way, THE RIGHT WAY. Now its been 5 months in our relationship and he propoust to me and I said yes! But I feel in my heart that it might be a little to soon even though I love him, I sujested him that we should wait a year to get married but to him it seems a long time, I told him until God doesn’t tell us other wise I am not going to make a move. Im writing to men of God reading this, How do we wait without him getting frustraded? Should we wait that long?
Hi,I want to comment a little bit on Michele’s response to Candicey. I agree with you, there is no difference for the bible says all have sinned and fall short.. myself included. however does that give the freedom to not be consistant with the word of God; are we not also called upon to present our body as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God? I guess what I m trying to say is I support the person who moved in with their partner while he/she falls into sinning, but as christian that person has a responsibility, must bring he/herself accountable to the word of God for what they have fallen into. YES, We pray and know there will be restoration at the same consequences will also follow anyone’s action because the devil is awake and alert to every one of our moves. we must be on our guard. finally, correct me if I m wrong please but according to John 7:24 the word of god does allow for christians to judge one another with righteousness.
It really brings a lot of joy and peace when you know that the one person you are willing to spend the rest of your life with is in the will of our Father. Although we know life always comes with turbulences and worries somehow there is peace of mind knowing that it is God’s choice for me, He will always keep His promise toward our lives. I bless the Lord today for His mercy and grace for the relationship He has assigned to me here on earth. I have been in a blessed and a continuous fire proven relationship for almost six years. we are getting engaged the end of this year. we are both in the mid twenties, in school and are very active in church. Nevertheless, like every christian we are subject to great temptations and persecutions. we believe in the holiness of marriage and are waiting until God makes a way where there seems to be no way for us to get married.
I realize it requires a lot more than my feelings and words to have a strong marriage however I believe in God’s promise for my future wife and I, and We are asking for your prayers. Her name is Germina and I thank the Lord for her everyday. we strongly believe with your prayers God will work miracles for the two of us.
Thank you
my question is how do you know that you are truly ready for marriage? I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 6 years and we are both 22 and we’ve been talking about getting married. Sometimes i get excited when i think about marrying him but other times i wonder if we’re ready and if this is where i should be. So basically how do i know for sure….and please dont say you just know because thats all i’ve been getting!! Thanks and God Bless!!!!
I bless you all in the name of Jesus!I’v been going through all the comments and personaly i believe they are all encourage in that we get to pick up something;our mistakes and advices.Now i want to know, when i am in a relationships,how far should we go i and my partner as far as touching and kissing is concerned(i know fornication is totally out)?
If you have the Holy Sprit he will tell you where to draw the line…I would recommend that before dating.
check out what the word says about it.. personally if you dont want sexual immorality to be anywhere near you, dont put yourself in that situation. dont play with fire in other words..
I am now 32 years old, recently me and my fiance’ have moved in together, through out my life my employment status has been an issue for me, i will admit at times i have not thought of the bigger picture, i’ve quit jobs without notice and have been terminated for tardiness among other things. I have worked since 16, when i turned 24 i realized the error in my ways,i started to do what was required of me from my employer but it seems to me every job i’ve worked since i’am expendable or either watched like a hawk and my performace scrutinzed to the “T”, i try not to let this effect me but “my wife to be” is greatly concerned, don’t get me wrong it concerns me more than i can put into words, i see this as a problem right now, as well as in the future. With all this being said, i do not wish to back out of this engagement, but i need to have myself in order before i ruin her finances or credit or even worse the way she feels about the instituion of marriage itself. I know the lord will keep us, but how can i go about doing so without destroying what we have built together through our years together?
I am in my late 20’s and I have dating a wonderful guy for the the past 3 years. Recently he has disclosed some very interetsting skeltons from his closet. And it has increased my anxiety and my insecurites. I was already to marry him before and now I feel I am more anxious. Well we know we want to marry each other but we do not want to rush into things. I am fighting with my patients because I am ready to be married and a mother. I don’t want to move in and do the whole shack up thing but I am ready for so much more and he is like a snail. He is aprehensive about rushing into marriage becuase he was married once before for the wrong reasons. Well I never have been married and I am ready to “start” my life. Any words of encouragment are appreciated.